Why You’re Not Doing The Things You Said You Wanted To, Part 4

Missed the previous 3 parts?  Get ‘em here and here and here.

Meanwhile, here’s part 4 coming at you – where we talk about how one way you avoid taking action is that we’re hiding behind the inaction of our peers.

This is one that nobody likes to admit to – especially me – and even this morning, I’m kicking my own ass about it.  Hopefully I’ll kick yours today, too, and we’ll be even.

Let’s talk about this painful subject and start dealing with it.

C’mon, Rationalize With Me … Everybody’s Doin’ It

We rationalize when we actively come up with reasons why it’s okay to do things we know we shouldn’t be doing (or that are counterproductive to our bigger goals), just so we can feel more comfortable with our current situation.

• “I’m so busy with my job, I can’t start working out now.  You know how it is.”
• “I’m so strapped for cash I can’t start saving money.  Isn’t everyone?”
• “I hate my job, but in this economy … what are you going to do?”

In each of these examples, we’re leaning on the inaction of our peer group to support our decision not to kick our own ass into gear.  We know that nobody is taking action, so we don’t take action either, because we don’t even have to make an excuse for it.  All we have to do is say “you know how it is,” and many of our peers nod in agreement.

And this behavior doesn’t indicate a lazy person … just a form of selected laziness. The same people who are so driven they can work like hell and achieve “big things” let their bodies and relationships go because they are surrounded by other people who are doing the same thing.  No one calls them out on it, because they don’t want to be called out themselves.

Overweight people tend to hang out with overweight people.  Slackers tend to sit around with other slackers.  Smokers drag with other smokers.  Procrastinators chill with other procrastinators.  Excuse-makers hang with other excuse-makers.  Urgency addicts buzz around with other urgency addicts.

My peer group is doing this.  Your peer group is doing this.  We’re strong in some of the same areas, weak in some of other areas, but we’re all justifying inaction together. And if we don’t change our behavior, it’s unlikely we’ll ever move past it, and we’ll damn ourselves to a life of regrets.

Breaking The Cycle – Here’s What You Need To Do, Right Now

Most people don’t push past their inaction because they think it will take too much willpower or require too much internal strength to grow … so they just keep on keepin’ on.  But there’s an easier way to move forward without having to endure the pain you’re dreading:

Connect with one person who won’t tolerate that behavior – today, and every day.

When you find yourself someone who is taking action in the area you’re struggling with and connect with them, you’ll feel a magnetic pull towards action as you bring them in as part of your peer group.  I’ve talked earlier about people being either grounders or magnets for you, and it’s as true now as it was then.

This is most effective when you’re connecting with someone who has been exactly where you are now and has risen above it (for example, you’ll get better encouragement from a formerly overweight person who worked the weight off than someone who has always been skinny).

Just connect with someone.  Today.  Become part of their peer group, let them become part of yours, and feel that magnetic pull start to stir up the part of you that wants to do more, be more, and have more … and see how your desire to follow through increases.

You can start by following me on Twitter … me an my peer group kick some pretty good ass on a daily basis (and often kick each other’s).  Join us.

That is all.

Now I need to go take my own advice and reconnect with FormerFatGuy on Twitter, because I’ve got some weight to lose.

Dave