Why You’re Not Doing The Things You Said You Wanted To, Part 2
In the last post we talked about how tricking your brain into thinking you’ve already started can give you a momentum boost when it comes to tackling tasks you’re feeling resistance towards. Now we’re going to talk about another reason you’re not taking action – one you won’t want to admit to yourself that you’re doing.
The reason you’re “stuck” when it comes to getting off your ass and doing whatever it is you’re avoiding?
You’re pretending that there’s a barrier there instead of making a decision. Yeah.
In Which You Tend To Trail Off Rather Than Taking A Stand
So I was listening to one of my favorite social media rockstars, Laura Roeder this morning and her smack-upside-the-head video blog post “Your ONLY Two Choices” and it was right in line with what I’m about to talk about here. Laura talks about how people in business waffle between two options when they haven’t taken action:
- “I don’t have the money to hire someone to do X,” and
- “I don’t know how to do X.”
The problem here isn’t that 1 and 2 aren’t valid points – it’s that people let themselves get stuck there. You do it. I do it.
Let’s quit settling for this crap, ok?
If you’ve been avoiding taking action on something, maybe it’s because you’ve set up this same situation in your head. You’re saying that this is a barrier and that is a barrier and you leave it at that … when what you really need to be doing is saying “screw it, I’m going to do something about it.”
Stop, right now, and think.
Think of something you’re avoiding because you either don’t know how to move forward, or you do know – but you’re just not sure you have the resources to do it. Instead of stopping there, ask yourself this simple question:
What am I going to do to move forward on this right frickin’ now?
Seriously. You don’t have the money? What are you going to change about how your money is spent to stop using that as an excuse? Or how are you going to to earn more money so you can use it?
You don’t have the time? What are you going to change about how you’re spending your time? (Hint from @garyvee: “STOP WATCHING F******G LOST!”) Or what are you going to decide to push off to later so you can get to more important stuff now?
The point of this post isn’t to motivate you (there are plenty of other posts for that).
The point of this post is to tell you to stop trailing off in those mental conversations and acting like your obstacles matter. They don’t.
They don’t.
Are they real? Hell yeah. I won’t deny that.
Are they scary? Hell yeah. I quake in fear, daily.
Are they reason to sit on your thumbs instead of swallowing hard, bracing yourself, and actually making a decision to act, right now?
You know they’re not.
You know they’re not.
Here’s What You Need To Do, Right Now
- Promise yourself that the next time you think of one of these “fork in the road” moments, instead of saying “Yeah, I need to figure something out,” FRIGGING DO SOMETHING ALREADY.
- Promise yourself that the next time you say to yourself “I don’t have the resources to do X,” demand that you find a way to move forward.
- Promise yourself that the next time you say to yourself, “I don’t know how to do X,” call bullshit on yourself and take one single step towards learning how.
That is all.
Now I need to go take my own advice.
(&^%#$%# Rock Your Day posts …)
I’ve got a couple of projects I’ve been spinning my wheels on for the last few months with the time excuse. But vacation is coming up soon; all my freelance projects are on hold and I’m “sacrificing” beach/pool time to stay inside and take napping baby watch duty the whole time. With these 15 hours, my laptop, and NO INTERNET ACCESS, I intend to finally get these things substantially, if not completely, done.
I also took advantage of Sitepoint’s Australia fire relief event a few weeks ago to load up on ebooks on the skills I want to learn. Now instead of blowing a couple of hours on Youtube and Facebook every evening, I’m working through these ebooks and picking up the skills I’ve been meaning, to if only… And I feel a lot better about myself and how the day went when it’s time to turn in.
Great post as always, Dave. (Though for me, it’s “Stop watching f******g Top Gear!”–which is a tough.)
Matt Tuley’s last blog post..What’s the deal with Uprinting.com, and what’s in it for you?
Wow Dave! This is so simple and yet such an easy trap to fall into.
I think we tend to overcomplicate things (I know I do) and allow ourselves to get stuck in situations that really aren’t that difficult to get out off. We do it with dead end jobs, toxic relationships and many other situations.
Life is hard but sometimes we make it a lot harder than it really is.
Thanks for kicking me in the butt!
liz’s last blog post..Walking through Corsica
Thanks, Liz. We usually do make things harder on ourselves than we have to – here’s to breaking the cycle.
Sometimes it’s not a matter of time so much as having so much to follow up on or get started that one can fell overwhelmed and not know where to start.I think knowing you don’t have time to do _everything_ (at least not right away) can make you feel like you don’t have time to do _anything_. Which is wrong, of course. I’m stuck here, but have a vacation coming up. I’m taking baby nap duty the whole week and “sacrificing” my beach time to finally get some projects taken care of. Those fifteen hours and NO INTERNET ACCESS will be a big help.
I also took advantage of Sitepoint’s recent Australia fires benefit to load up on ebooks about programming and web development. I’ve replaced losing a couple of hours each night to Youtube and Facebook (and, yes, “f******g Lost”) to working through those books and picking up skills I’ve been wanting to learn. It feels great going to bed knowing I’ve learned something new and not feeling like I’ve wasted another evening.
Matt Tuley’s last blog post..What’s the deal with Uprinting.com, and what’s in it for you?
@Matt –
Sorry your comments got locked in Akismet & you had to post a second time. I approved both of them without looking … and I see I’ve just made it look like you double commented.
Dave–
Heh. Well, feel free to delete one. The message is the same.
Trapped by Akismet, huh? Probably my use of A– er, all caps.
Matt Tuley’s last blog post..What’s the deal with Uprinting.com, and what’s in it for you?
[...] post: Why You’re Not Doing The Things You Said You Wanted To, Part 2 Category : [...]
1. “I don’t have the money to hire someone to do X,” and
2. “I don’t know how to do X.”
That’s exactly what I am dealing with now. I love my blog because it’s a no-brainer. I love my web site because it’s beautiful. Being scattered all over the net is a headache and I need a better plan (a merge? or at least a new sales site leading to my blog) Besides, I need “buy it now” buttons and I don’t have them. I have a tech headache.
If I had the funds I’d hire someone to “make it so.” Where’s Capt. Picard when I need him?
nothing replaces action. excuses are the lifeblood of all losers
Christian’s last blog post..By: New Tax Credit to Watch
Action is where it’s at. Of course, it’s always easier to say than to do, but when it comes down to it, you’re completely right: friggin’ do something already!!
Positively Present’s last blog post..the opposite emotion: act it out
I came here through happiness project and am glad i followed the link.A great post .simple but valuable tips.
thanks
sema
sema’s last blog post..Thank you!
I posted a link to your blog on my blog post about motivation. Your article really inspired me. Thanks! Check it out here: http://positivelypresent.typepad.com/positively_present/2009/04/stop-slackin-get-crackin.html
Fantastic Post.
The excuses we make NOT to
get things Done are usually Specious,
and Money is never really the Root
Cause.
Lack of Belief and lack of priority are usually
the real culprits.
One of the Mantras from
The Focus Society of Overachievers has
been:
Don’t worry about getting it right, Just GET IT GOING
Chuck Bartok’s last blog post..Product Review FREE Advertising….Does it Work?
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