Why You’re Not Doing The Things You Said You Wanted To, Part 1
Today I got up at 5am and did some yoga, trying like hell to kick off that habit again. It’s always one that gets pushed off to the side, because there’s always something more urgent going on. And at 5am, yoga isn’t the first thing on my mind. It isn’t even the 20th thing on my mind.
But last night, it was the last thing on my mind. And that’s why it got done.
Trick Your Brain, And You Can Get It To Do Just About Anything
One of the biggest obstacles people face when trying to kick of a new habit is getting started. Taking that first step, especially when you’re unmotivated, is hard as hell. Taking action = doing something uncomfortable right now, so you don’t do it. The pain avoidance part of your brain says “No way. Hit snooze.”
But you can psych out that part of your brain and pull a fast one on it. Here’s how.
All you have to do is take a preparatory action step at a different time than when you’re actually going to do the task. For example, last night I looked for my yoga DVD (that took 10 minutes all by itself), popped it in the DVD player, put a bottle of water in the fridge and cleared the floor so I could hit the ground running in the morning.
Now, when I don’t do that, I feel tons of resistance in the morning. Who wants to wake up just to do a lot of “getting ready” stuff? That’s not very motivating. But I was plenty motivated last night, because I could do all that prep work knowing that I wasn’t going to have to do the exercise right then and there. It was still out there in the future. So there was no resistance.
And when I woke up this morning, it wasn’t 100% easy to get moving and do the yoga, but it was easy enough that I got it done.
Why This Works (And Why You Watch Bad Movies)
Something in our brain is wired to want to complete tasks we’ve invested some level of time/money/energy in. Once we get started, we feel this nagging feeling like we need to get closure. This is what gets you to watch the end of a movie even though 30 minutes in you know it’s going to suck – you sit there thinking “I might as well finish it, I’ve been here this long.” (Aliens Vs Predator, I’m talking to you.)
But you can use this principle to your advantage. If you take a single preparatory action towards a task, your mind is going to automatically feel less resistance to continue because it thinks you’ve already started. It doesn’t matter that you started yesterday, when it was easy (because you weren’t committed to finish at that time). Do this, and you’ll sucker yourself in a good way – and finally get some traction on that task.
Your Homework: Take One Step Now For Something You Have To Do Later
Take a look at something you’re avoiding and determine a first step – then take it. If you’ve been putting off writing a blog post, don’t do the post today, just do the title tonight – and write the post itself tomorrow. If you’ve got to do your taxes and you’re stressed, don’t schedule time to do it today – take 20 minutes and get your papers together, clear some desk space and walk away – and pick back up tomorrow.
And if you’re going to do yoga in the morning, find that damn DVD now, so you won’t be fumbling for it in the morning. Rrrgh.
3 Really Useful Things You Can Do Right Now
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This reminds me of one of the best fitness purchases I ever made: a cheap tracksuit-type jacket and pants set from Wal-Mart. One of my biggest impediments to working out was simply that it was COLD in my basement in the morning. When I realized I didn’t have to face the cold in shorts and a t-shirt, my resistance to it went down considerably.
Isn’t that the truth?!? I’ve watched more bad movies than I can count, simply so I could tell my brain there’s a neat little line running through the task. Simply ridiculous.
Writer Dad’s last blog post..New Dad, New Dad
What a great example of pre-paving a goal, Dave! You’re right–when you have to get ready first, it’s far too easy to put off doing what you said you would. Glad to hear you’re getting back into your yoga routine! (And if you got the snow in Raleigh that we got here in Winston-Salem, I’m especially impressed you hit the ground running at 5 a.m.–it was *cold* here then
.)
Brilliant concept. I’m all about mind-trickery. As a writer, I particularly relate to the ‘blank page syndrome’ – if you just have a start, it’s so much easier to finish the work.
@Avdi -
Sometimes the smallest shifts makes all the difference.
@WriterDad -
I’m sure there’s a psychological term for that, I don’t know what it is …
@Jessica -
the weather report LIES!!!
We didn’t get any snow.
@Julie -
Sometimes it’s good to pull a fast one on yourself. Success is 10% starting and 90% not stopping.
This is fantastic advice!
A few years ago, the only time I had to go to the gym was in the mornings before work. But I hate getting up early. My solution was to pack my work clothes the night before, leave the bag by the door and actually sleep in my gym clothes. It totally worked!
This also works for blog posts. Whenever inspiration hits, I start a new post and empty my brain into it. It doesn’t always make sense or flow well, but I’ve found that it’s much easier to look back through drafts I’ve already started then come up with something new and brilliant all at once.
Tiffany’s last blog post..one nice thing
I agree with a lot of what you’re saying. Stuff can build and just the angst over the not doing stuff we want to do can paralyze and suffocate.
I want to offer something.
Yes I agree doing just a small step toward something is vital. You made the decision to get up and do yoga. cool for you that you got up.
but you maybe don’t actually like it. you maybe would prefer a run or a workout later.
my point: only when we’re super honest with ourselves can we assess if we’re being drill sargeants and doing something just to do it vs. really feeling a big hell yes i want to do this. Try a morning run. Try a swim. Try something other than yoga if you don’t like yoga. (and clearly my point isn’t about what you do at 5 am).
I find time and again, doing anything at first to break that mesmeric paralysis IS VITAL. But after a while, thought adores becoming as routine as a clock. And you need that deep honest self awareness to really thoughtfully consider: do I actually LIKE doing this? can’t wait to read more of your posts. Have fun.
Tresha Thorsen’s last blog post..Taking one small…baby…step….now
I think you are giving Alien v. Predator a lot of credit for taking 30 minutes to tell us that it was possibly the worst movie ever made. I’m thinking 5 minutes is more accurate.
To get to the main point of your post, though, you give some good advice. The next time I am faced with a task I keep putting off, I will ask myself, “What would make it easier to get started?” Once I get started, I’m good to go.
Jen’s last blog post..I Love Stephen King
I just wanted to say that I’ve been reading your stuff for the last couple of months and feel great and motivated every time. This last piece of advice about ‘pre-loading’ your activity or shifting priorities does work. I’ve been doing that stuff (and not realizing it) for years and personally, that’s the way I get stuff done.
I’ve also taken up doing the 3×5 card thing and this is what lets me get stuff done too.
Keep up the good work. You are an inspiration and have made a real difference in my life through these tough economic times.
@Tresha – The question I have with your reply is where do you draw the line? Taken to extremes, if you continually choose what you do based on “really feeling a big hell yes i want to do this,” then, at least in my experience, many things that need to/should to get done won’t be.
I have several changes, one big, that I need to be making. But I’m comfortable now, and these changes involve doing things I don’t want to do – in the long run, making these will be good for me, the goals are what I want.
In the short range, it’s often hard for me to get up out of my comfort zone, forget what I’ve had happen before, and take those steps. If I wait until I feel like/want to do them, I’ll never start with even a baby step.
Just like right now – I’m catching myself procrastinating again. I have several things to do, a close deadline to meet, and here I am answering your blog reply instead of working to meet the deadline. I’d much rather stay here and read through the archives
, but it’s time to get busy on some mundane things.
Have a great Friday, everyone.
This is a really interesting idea. I think that it would be more effective for the ambitious people, but I think that I will try this method in the near future. Thanks a lot!
Trey – Swollen Thumb Entertainment’s last blog post..Top 10 Problems With The Movie Industry
I find the only thing that gets me doing things is to write it down in a list (one that repeats automatically like http://www.rememberthemilk.com or an Excel spreadsheet) and to tell myself to just do it. No excuses.
No trick, no twist of the mind, nothing. Scheduling and willpower. That’s it.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..Get out of that hole: Someday-busting lessons from Take That
Glad to know that what I do isn’t that crazy after all
I will think of something I need to do, such as exercise every day. Then one by one, I’ll trot out my excuses and then remove every one of the obstacles. For example: I don’t like to run in the cold, so I bought a treadmill. Then I put my shoes and running clothes right by the treadmill so there was no excuse to even have to leave the same room to get my clothes. If I get sweaty, I dig out the hairdryer afterward until my “do” is nice and fluffy again.
I just take every obstacle I can think of, and set up or arrange an answer to it.
Beth Bridges’s last blog post..How to Stay in Touch with the Real World
[...] the last post we talked about how tricking your brain into thinking you’ve already started can give you a momentum boost when it comes to tackling tasks you’re feeling resistance [...]
Great post! And I’m subscribing to your RSS feed because your tips are helping me move things forward.
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This is great advice which I have used in the past and it definitely works sometimes. I have this problem though where once I have a solution and see that it works I will try it a few times but then end up “falling off the wagon” so to speak and just falling back into my old habits – I feel like I need a serious wake-up call to get my life moving because I am totally sabotaging my efforts. Does anyone else have a problem with staying on track? It seems like a catch-22 to be able to have enough will-power to stay motivated. Anyway, it’s nice to have this kind of advice reinforced – usually it is enough to get me started and hopefully this time I will not give up so easily!