Comments on: The Survivor Mindset: Becoming Stronger Through Vulnerability

By: Marc

Marc — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 15:15:00 +0000

As a survivor I agree with your article. Only the strong dare to be vulnerable. One comment though: it is important to realize that not everyone is able to deal with your vulnerability. Do not expect others to understand or “to say the right things”. More than once I used others more as a sounding board than as the person I was speaking to in a conversation. I got more and more irritated by the lack of feedback or understanding and in the end I felt squeezed out like a lemon. Emotionally drained without the essential new energy.

The other does not necessarily have to agree with everything you say, but he/she should respect your feelings and appreciate the fact that you are willing to share this. Before you share your most personal feelings try to figure out whether the other is capable to show this respect and it is the right moment.

Good luck,

Marc

By: Jenn

Jenn — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 13:00:30 +0000

I have seen the postcard idea but I am looking for something a little more interactive. Any suggestions?

By: Suze

Suze — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 20:26:43 +0000

I have a resource that may be helpful. I have been following a blog for awhile called PostSecret at postsecret.blogspot.com where people anonymously send postcards in the mail confessing their secrets. While it might sound like a creepy, lurking kinda thing to do, it's not. I have been touched by strangers many times in hearing their secrets. I have been healed of my own baggage by reading as well. Most of all, I've seen evidence that we are all in this human condition together and that is humbling. Suze's last blog post..Educate Yourself Thin

By: April

April — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 23:24:11 +0000

Dave, I couldn’t agree more! I’m so tired of the phoniness I see all.the.time. I’ve even seen people say “oh don’t talk about struggling” and I’m thinking “ok….why??”

Apparently the belief most people have is that you have to be ON all the time, you have to project this image of being so grateful and happy and fulfilled every waking hour. But its such crap!

Its just so fake and I don’t like feeling duped. Do you know what a disappointment it is to look up to someone and admire their success only to find out that they’re 4 months behind on their mortgage or can’t pay their rent?

On the other hand, I’m very open and I’ve been accused of being too open…but I can’t even count how many people have told me they admire my honesty, my strength, my courage.

Maybe that Mary Sunshine act attracts a certain group of people but I’d rather be around genuine people who have no problem with just being themselves, vulnerability and all.

April’s last blog post..Managing a virtual team

By: The Savvy Entrepreneur » Blog Archive » On a personal note…

The Savvy Entrepreneur » Blog Archive » On a personal note… — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 20:22:21 +0000

[...] read Dave Navarro’s blog post today The Survivor Mindset: Becoming Stronger Through Vulnerability — it was just what I needed to give the whole vulnerability thing a shot. So here [...]

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 13:29:53 +0000

Dave,

Now that post Rocks My Day.

After I had been in an abusive marriage for many years, my father made me promise (without even being sure why, bless him), to find some help. After secretly seeing a therapist for some time, I told her how horrible it was talking to her, because it felt like I was airing my dirty laundry and everybody could see my underwear.

“It’s not your underwear, it’s his, sweetie—and who cares? We’ve all got underwear,” she said to me.

Most powerful words I’ve ever heard in my life. Pretty much from that moment on I’ve never stopped being open with people when it’s called for. It’s helped me and what’s more (like your last post) I’ve had the great honor to help others.

I’m an old Irish New Englander and I don’t think I wear my heart on my sleeve like James, but being a blabbermouth at just the right times has healed me a hundred times over—and since some wounds never heal completely, I’ll keep asking for and giving help by revealing my vulnerabilities.

I couldn’t agree with you more. Beautiful words today.

Regards,

Kelly

Kelly’s last blog post..Cutting Through the Noise

By: Rachel

Rachel — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 12:41:38 +0000

I came here from a twitter post from “Men with Pens”. Just wanted to say excellent blog post! Everything you say is so true, and I hope more people will read your words. Good stuff.

By: James Chartrand - Men with Pens

James Chartrand - Men with Pens — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:52:12 +0000

I have long been looked askance because of my need to wear my heart on my sleeve and live strong emotions to the fullest. I make a lot of noise when I’m happy and I make just as much when I’m unhappy.

We are made to be people who express themselves. This theory of “suck it in, get over it” is a stupid concept someone thought up to create individual robots that walk around without feelings.

I choose not to live that way. I choose to live my life, my emotions and my vulnerability to the fullest. And let me tell you, I am not weaker for it. I am damned strong and confident because of it.

And I agree – there are tons of places online that can help people. There are online therapists, psychologists, support groups, forums, and more. There are certified, licenced people out there who can help.

Go for it. Unleashing what you’ve chained down inside you is the best thing you could do for yourself, so says I.

James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Should You Ask Potential Customers Their Budget?