Staying Motivated When It All Goes To Hell

Written by Dave Navarro on April 30, 2008

If you got a hunger for what you see / You’ll take it eventually / You can taste the bright lights / But you won’t get them for free” - Guns N’ Roses

It’s easy to get motivated by an idea.  A plan. A goal. We tend to get easily excited by and obsessed over these (and other) four-letter words.  The thought of them is intoxicating, and when you’re caught up in the euphoria, suddenly all things seem possible.  You want it bad, and you chase it with a smile on your face.

But there’s another four letter that most people don’t like to face, and that’s work. Sure, you may have been partying with your goals and ideas and plans all night long, but work is what you wake up with in the morning. And while it may be the new hotness for a while, sooner or later you find that the thrill is gone.

Baby, Don’t You Love Me Anymore?

When your goals just aren’t doing it for you, when you’re not getting excited enough to chase them anymore, something is wrong.  You feel like you’re going through the motions, doing what you have to in order to chug along, and the hot idea that once dominated your thoughts has lost its luster. What used to be a driving passion becomes just another chore.  You start entertaining thoughts of giving up.

So what changed?  Did you fall “out of love” with your goal?  Probably not - it’s more likely that you lost your focus.  Instead of thinking of the end result, of what will happen when you achieve it, you’re letting yourself get bogged down by the details.  And since the details are where all that hard work comes into play, you can lose sight of the attractive outcome that once motivated you.

Sometimes just realizing this is enough - it hits you that while you hate writing reports, dealing with customer emails or tweaking a website, what you love is the job you do and the result you create.  You love delivering a result to people, and that’s what drives you.  You start thinking of what you fell in love with in the first place, and all your motivation comes rushing back.  Life is good.

Except when it isn’t.

Welcome To The Jungle

Sometimes, even thinking of the end result won’t get you motivated.  At all.  Sure, your business may solve people’s problems, make them happier, or help them change the world, but it’s just not doing it for you.  You know you should be excited, but you’re not.  Instead, you’re numb inside, or you’re hating the hundreds of stupid steps you have to go through to make it all work.

And the frustration is compounded by the fact that you know you should be absolutely ecstatic about following your dream/goal/big idea.  You know that you have a million reasons to get excited, but it’s just not helping your performance problems.

And then, just when you’re feeling ground down, everything starts to go wrong.  Customers have problems.  Business partners don’t work out.  Projects that seemed on schedule get delayed.  Insult is added to injury, and you just don’t know how to get your groove back.

Remember, motivation isn’t the ability to get hyped up, passionate and excited.  It’s the ability to make yourself do the damned work when it’s not fun.  I can’t promise to give you the magic answer to your motivation problems, but I can give you a few time-tested tips that have helped me and my coaching clients through some of our roughest spots.  Not all tips will work with all people, but read the list below with the pre-supposition that you’ll find one that speaks to you (and then it will. )

• Give yourself permission to hate the work you’re doing. Popular self-help wisdom says that you should be happy and upbeat all the time, and if you can’t get excited by everything, you’re doing something wrong (and you should feel guilty for it!).  But life says that ain’t so.  Some tasks suck, but they simply need to be done, and it’s okay not to like them.  I don’t like changing my youngest kid’s diaper, but cleaning up the crap is part of the parenting package.  I don’t have to pretend to like it - I just have to do it.  So don’t pressure yourself to get happy about crap work - admit it’s crap, but do it anyway.

• Disassociate yourself from the task you have to do. This sounds goofy, but it can really work.  Step back and pretend someone else is taking on the task (preferably someone who you picture having an easy time tackling the work). Start working on it, and “watch” how they handle it as if it were a movie unfolding before you.  This is effective because it takes your mind of your personal discomfort of doing the work, and gives you something creative to enjoy.

• Decide to respect yourself in the morning. The task may suck, but if you push past your resistance and get it done anyway, you can look back at the end of the day and feel proud of yourself for not copping out with some weak excuse.   Imagine yourself putting your head on your pillow knowing you kicked a$$ when it wasn’t easy - but your bad ass did it anyway -and experience how that feeling of pride can drive you.

• Recognize that this is just a phase, and it will pass. Sometimes we lose the love because other things in life are stressing us out.  We’re emotionally tapped, and we don’t have anything to get motivated with.  Recognize that this is an event that will come and go, and that if you just shake it off, eventually you’ll get your groove back.  Tell yourself the lull is temporary, and the secret formula to getting the excitement back is to just keep plugging away.

• Remind yourself that man oh man, is it worth it. Famed boxer Muhammad Ali admitted he hated every minute of his training, but kept at it because he knew it would make him a champion one day.   No matter what crap is going on in your life, no matter how many obstacles are making the pursuit of your goal harder, there’s a reason you set the goal in the first place.  Because it’s worth it.  Tell yourself that over and over again.  “I know this task sucks, but it’s going to be worth it.”

The path to your goal isn’t all fun and games.  Sometimes it sucks.  But when that happens, instead of feeling sorry for yourself or wondering what you’re doing wrong, recognize it as a natural part of life.  Prepare for it.  Accept it.  And then work through it.  Sure, “you can taste the bright lights / but you won’t get them for free.” But if you remind yourself that the price is not only required, but worth paying, you’ll find a way to get yourself to keep taking action, even when it’s no fun at all.

And when you put your head on the pillow at night, you’ll know you took the high road.

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