Rock Your Business Tip #1: Choose Magnetic Contacts
(Please read this the whole way through before you comment so you don’t think I’m telling you to ditch your friends.)
How’s your business growing? If it’s expanding by leaps and bounds, then “good on ya,” as Michael Martine is fond of saying. If it isn’t – and you’re struggling to bring in more traffic, more customers, more sales, then the problem may not be your business model as much as the people in your peer group. You may limiting yourself based on the expectations of your business friends and associates who don’t drive you to be more, do more, and demand more from yourself.
Two Types of Business Forces: Grounding And Magnetism
There are two types of people you can hang out with in the business arena: Grounders and Magnets. Here’s what makes one type different from the other.
- Grounders are people who are roughly at the same level as you are in your business. People with similar sales levels, or brand awareness levels, similar connections, skills, etc.. These are great people to connect with because they are able to work with you where you are and understand where you’re coming from. Additionally, there’s often opportunities to team up and do cool stuff to expand your business. But there’s a limiting factor as well – it’s often hard to find people who are willing to think outside of the box, push themselves harder and raise their standards in huge ways. Long-term, you tend to stay at the same level if all the people you connect with are Grounders.
- Magnets are people who are well above your level in their businesses. They are bigger names, stronger brands, and more connected people. Most people thing Magnets are “out of their league,” but it’s often not the case. If you can find the right way to connect with Magnets, they can take you under their wing, showing you what’s possible beyond your comfort zone and even providing things like mentoring advice, first-hand introductions, and the occasional kick in the pants. Magnets are powerful contacts because to continue connecting with them, you have to raise your own standards just to keep up. Sometimes this is tough work, but sometimes it’s actually easy because your Magnets show you ways to get the results you’re currently getting with less work – freeing you up to grow. Long term, Magnets can be the strongest factor in your business growth.
Don’t Spend All Your Time With Grounders
If you want to grow your business at a faster rate, you need to, need to, NEED TO carefully strike a balance between Grounders and Magnets in your life. You can’t spend all your time with Grounders because you’ll grow slowly – or stay at the same level forever. This is not to say Grounders are bad to spend time with. Far from it – in fact, you’ll have a lot of Grounders in your life because they are your peer group. They have valuable things to contribute to your business growth, and you have many valuable things to contribute right back at them. And most importantly, Grounders are the people who will have more time for you.
And in reality, you’re a Grounder too, to other people, just as I am. So I’m not knocking it. Not at all.
The Psychology of Magnetic People
Why do I call the other camp of people Magnets? It’s because of a basic psychological principle that we tend to perform according to the expectations of our peer group. If everyone else we like to hang with is doing things a certain way, or achieving a certain level of things, then we want to do the same things too. It’s just natural. But if all you have are Grounders, your peer group doesn’t drive you to push yourself to higher levels.
When you include more Magnets in your peer group, you’re going to feel that psychological pull to behave in ways that match what your Magnets are doing – to employ better strategies, to think in bigger-picture ways, and to move outside your comfort zone.
And the coolest part – when you grow as an effect of hanging out with all of your Magnets, you become the Magnet to all of your Grounders. You get to take them with you, if they’re willing. And how cool is that.
A Quick Shout-Out To My Magnets
There are a few solid people a rung above where I am that have been m most powerful Magnets to me over the last 6 months, helping me create a business with more growth than I’d seen in 5 years (cumulative!). These Magnets are awesome people who you likely already know, but I want to give them a special shout-out to say thanks for all they’ve done to help me:
- Freelance writers James and Harry at Men with Pens, for getting me into freelance writing and helping me build my brand,
- Home business resources maven Naomi at Ittybiz, who has given me valuable technical and marketing advice,
- Freelance entrepreneur Christine O’Kelly at SelfMadeChick, who helped me with strategies to gain long-term, well paying clients,
- Social media web designer Jon Phillips at Spyre Studios, who helped me get huge exposure as one of the original writers at Freelance Folder
- Marketing and Copywriting superhero Sonia Simone at Remarkable Communication for her real-world advice and support as I’ve jumped into the freelancing waters.
- Blog consultant Michael Martine for helping me understand more about creating blogs that drive clients to you.
How To Get The Attention of Magnets
On the next Rock Your Business post, I’ll go into the strategies I used to get my Magnets to pay attention to me and help become part of my business growth. Check back next Wednesday or subscribe to this blog for free to get updates automagically sent your way. Huzzah!
You aren’t saying anything about ditching friends, only to behave with prudent intelligence.
Nothing wrong with that.
Writer Dad’s last blog post..On Being a Chooch
@Writer Dad –
He he … you’d be surprised how many people skim articles and read subheadings and respond, totally jumping to conclusions
Very, very smart and well written. So many times, people say to me that they don’t dare approach me. They’re intimidated, they feel shy, they feel out of their league… they talk themselves out of a quick email, an instant message ping or a private forum message.
Each and every time, I blink in surprise. Why would people hold themselves back? Why *not* reach out to people at higher levels and learn from them? I reach out where I can to people above me to learn, and I also reach to people who aren’t at my level yet as well – they too have something to teach me.
I’ve never been afraid of asking, saying hi, putting myself out there. Do I get nervous or shy? Hell yes. Come on. But do I let that stop me? Of course not.
And Dave, I’ll return the shout out to you for being magnetic. You’ve really helped me think about my balance in the world and you’ve consistently challenged me in many ways to be a better person in both life and business.
*passes out Kleenex all around*
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..How to Feel Consistently Confident About Your Writing
Magnetic? Moi? Dave, you flatter me. Keep doing it, by all means.
Seriously, I need to be more aware of networking. I’ve been so head-down and busy lately that I’ve reduced my elbow-rubbing and that’s not good.
Love the “grounding” and “magnetic” influence ideas!
Hi, Dave –
The “Magnet” theory is a good one; I remember it from my days as a high school athlete. Our basketball coach always made us play teams that were out of our league (literally) in order to get better. One time, we were driven so hard that we even beat the (gasp!) boys’ team. Talk about reaching a new level!
Dave,
Awesome post. I can’t wait to hear what the next steps are.
BTW – are you telling me to ditch all of my friends? Ok, here goes… : )
Sal’s last blog post..“How” – Not Just a Funny Way to Say Hi
You know, you just made me realize that my boyfriend is one of my magnet people. How cool is that? Not so much now as when we first met, but he still is the one pushing me to reach for higher and higher goals. When we first met, I didn’t know a thing about web development or programming, and he had been coding for many years and was in the process of getting his Master’s in Computer Science. Complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Nowadays, I can easily code a WP blog, no problem, and he tells me I’m a better Java programmer than he is.
Other magnets for me include you, Harry, James, Tei, and Naomi. You all make me strive to improve my life, my writing ability, and my skills as a business woman. I think it’s fantastic that the internet makes it so much easier for us to really connect with our magnet people.
Allison Day’s last blog post..Taste and Create 11, A Little Foodie Love
Aw man… You guys are too, you know. If I didn’t have people backing me up, then I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Are You Advertising One Knee or Two?
You forgot an important category of people – the “repellers”! The people that only talk about how difficult things are and how nothing is working. Definitely a group you want to avoid but is easy to get sucked into. If you find yourself spending all your time complaining and gossiping you are probably around a bunch of repellers!
I gotta say it was a real pleasure working with you on FreelanceFolder
Jon Phillips’s last blog post..12 Things You Should Never Say to a Client
I was all fired up and ready to shout YEA Dave and then got distracted on the way down by James and the bro love. Dave, you are truly one special dude to get James passing Kleenex.
I love this post! When I entered the business world I was told to dress one level above where I wanted to be and hang out with those who where I wanted to go. I like the use of Magnets, it is so completely appropriate to what those people do for us. I have found that successful people are most often willing to share their knowledge and time with you. They realize that the platform is big enough for one more. You have given me much to think about this evening, thanks Dave!
James is exactly like that boy in 5th grade who punched you in the arm because he secretly liked you. He is very sweet but he hates to admit it.
How lovely to be a magnet! I consider you very much the same. You have done great things in lighting a fire under my ass, my friend.
I spent many years being scared to even consider approaching the Magnets, but miraculously I find I am over it. Maybe it was having a kid. If I can do that, I can do freaking anything.
Sonia Simone’s last blog post..Beatrix Kiddo’s Guide to Making It Happen
With my last business as a professional organizer I struggled all the time to find clients. Organizing is more or less an affluent person’s service, yet my social network included mainly new entrepreneurs, people working in social services, and students – not the most affluent bunch of people.
This time around with my internet-based business, I’m living in Spain but will be offering my information products in English, so I can’t rely at all on my social networks. That has meant spending a lot more time creating a community online and because I’m dedicated to the business, it means increasing the size of that community (and not I haven’t yet created that marketing plan you asked about – it’s on today’s to do list).
Cheers,
Alex
Alex Fayle’s last blog post..Are you a Pooh-Bear?
@ Sonia – I think that punch in the arm is called exuberance… I think.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Are You Advertising One Knee or Two?
Dave! You are one of my magnets man… I took some advice from you and it didn’t just rock my day, it has been rockin’ the foundation of my life for the last 4 months!
Christine O’Kelly’s last blog post..Hunting Down and Exposing Deep Dark Challenges
This is so true in every profession and like Writer Dad suggested, I didn’t see anything wrong with the post. If people want to skim and miss the point, let ‘em
As a real estate investor, I learned a lot time ago you need to surround yourself with successful people and learn from them. Some things just can’t be taught in school or in a book. Keeping the right company pushes you to learn and keep up like you say.
The downside of course (like you mentioned) is the magnets usually aren’t as interested in helping you succeed as much through their actions. Yes, they want you to succeed. Yes they will provide some advice, but it usually stops there.
The Grounders are the ones who will work with you to build.
John Hoff – eVentureBiz’s last blog post..Securing Your WordPress Blog: Post 4 – Setting Up .htaccess
Thanks for the simple metaphor. I’m always looking for interesting ways to explain the dynamics between personality, social chemistry, and the success of business relationships.
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” – Carl Jung
Ryan
This is something I know to be true, but I have difficulty putting into practice. I’ll be looking forward to the next post for that.
I think I don’t want to be seen as pestering someone I look up to and admire.
*pester, pester – pokes at Dave*
Catherine’s last blog post..Pet Health and Happiness
[...] Wednesday we talked about the importance of having “Magnets” as business contacts so that you would be pulled towards growing, rather than keeping the status quo with your [...]
Hanging with “Grounders” tends to be comfortable and easy to do. Approaching “Magnets” is more scary…but rewarding. Needs a consious choice to get more magnet time.
Rob Wilson’s last blog post..Search Engine Optimisation For Business
[...] that we want to go. This is a powerful psychology that I discussed before in my post about choosing to associate with magnetic people who will “pull” you towards your desired [...]
On the subject of magnets, isn’t it scientific principle that opposites attract? But then again, that is science and not always applicable to business.
Just my 2 cents 
Making The Best Better Team’s last blog post..Seven Success Coaching Quotes For Inspiration And Motivation