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Mar 21, 2010

Lift Someone Up

It’s far too easy to feel down about yourself … and it’s not just you.  Everyone around you – those people who seem to “have it all together” – they stress about themselves, too.  It’s natural and unavoidable to feel small and inconsequential at times, but it doesn’t have to be something you settle for feeling long-term.

Been feeling down lately?  Yeah, me too.  Here’s how to fix it.

Making Someone Else’s Day Automatically Makes You Happier

It’s part of basic human nature to strongly desire significance to other people, to feel that we’re making a contribution.  Knowing you’ve tuly helped someone, that you truly matter to them is pretty much intoxicating on a psychological and biochemical level.

There’s one little problem though:  We tend to think other people have more impact than we do.  Because of that, we value our own contributions less, and we think that we suck and others are so much more significant than we can be.  We forget how much we mean to others.

And this happens to us no matter what level of “success” we have (in fact, “successful” people freak out about this more than “other” people do).

As humans, we’re just not wired to appreciate ourselves – and we magnify others’ contributions while minimizing our own.

So what’s the antidote to feeling small and valueless? Simple: Make someone else feel valued, right now.  Think about how incredible you feel when somebody tells you how the appreciate you, or how you helped them – whether it’s someone you worked hard to help in a huge, life changing way or even a child who you simply encouraged consistently (possibly effecting just as big a change for their future).

Now think about who you can appreciate in that same way right now.  And don’t just think about it – tell them.  Today.

When you make that deposit in someone’s emotional bank account, you actually get paid a dividend in the process because their feeling of elation rubs off on you.  By making them feel appreciated and valued, you’ve made a visible and meaningful contribution.  In short, you’re hella significant to them, and you’ll feel that all the way down to your toes.

Your Assignment: Take 7 Minutes To Lift 7 People Up This Week

Each day this week, send someone a quick email.  Quick and short.  Just say “I really appreciate you because of _____; you’ve made a difference in my life.  I just wanted to say thanks.”

(Sure, you can gush if you want, and ignore my ‘quick and short’ command – it’s really just there to get you off your ass so you’ll do it.  Write as much as you want, but just write something.)

Each day this week, take 60 seconds to email one person.  And watch what happens – you’ll feel better about yourself, in spades.

And Just To Make Sure You Really Do It, Leave Your First Message In The Comments

Take a few seconds right now to give someone their shout out in the comments – and then cut and paste it into an email.  The more of you who leave this kind of comment on this post, the more people you’ll inspire to take action.

Leave your comment.  Lift someone up.  It’ll lift you up as well.

Do it now.  You’ll thank yourself for it.

That is all -


P.S. – Once you’re done, hit that “retweet” button below & spread the word so others will keep the uplifting emails coming.  (And if you’ve come to this post via my Stop Settling newsletter, please forward it to at least one person today who needs to hear this!)

56 Responses to “Lift Someone Up”

  • Mar 21, 2010 Taylor

    All over it. Sent mini-cupcakes to the business down the street. I don’t even know what they do all day. But I know that yesterday, they were eating delicious mini-cupcakes.

    This is a fantastic idea and I’m all for it.

  • Mar 21, 2010 Jade Craven

    I wanna publicly thank my best friend and business partner, Bill Journee. Seriously. He deserves it.

    We’ve been friends since before we started working together at another company and then supported each other through freelance projects. Last year my life went to hell and he is probably the only person outside of the family who knows everything I went through. He watched as I struggled with crap and like the top guy he is, was really awesome about it.

    Then with the business – god, our business wouldn’t be nearly as awesome if it wasn’t for him. I doubt we’d even have it. We are going to rock this launch – both the site and the ebook – and its all because he has been so amazing. Seriously.

    And I’m not just saying it because he let me turn a toy bear into the mascot. Nor because Dave reckons his twitter name sounds like a cat.

    So yeah, theres my lift someone up :-) Go team awesome.
    Jade Craven´s last blog ..How to Rock It At a Conference My ComLuv Profile

  • Mar 21, 2010 Toby


    I really appreciate You because of the way you remind of things and motivate me to go do them. You’ve made a difference in my life. I just wanted to say thanks.

    And your post reminds me of something that I tell to friends that get in a funk, “If you want to feel better go help someone, go give thanks to someoone, or at least a compliment.”

    And wouldn’t you know it… BAM! They feel better and energized.

    Thanks for the reminder

    Toby´s last blog ..Welcome Video My ComLuv Profile

  • Mar 22, 2010 Sid Savara

    Hey Dave,

    Big shout out to my friends Alec Satin and Luciano from Litemind, two guys who continue to push me to be better – and constantly give me some great advice!

    Sid Savara´s last blog ..How to Create Your Personal Development Plan My ComLuv Profile

  • Mar 22, 2010 David Hutchison

    Here’s my shout out to Mr. Morrison my grade 6 teacher. He was an important person in my life and I ended up a teacher myself.

  • Mar 22, 2010 Hannah

    If we feel small and valueless in a certain situation, it’s often because at some point, someone in our lives wanted us to feel that way and, as adults, we’ve internalised that (even if we’re not totally aware of it).

    I want to shout out to my close friends, who are supportive, encouraging and accepting. Every conversation with them is a ‘lift up’ conversation :)

  • Mar 22, 2010 John WIlliams

    Thanks, Dave.

    Since I began receiving your Monday Morning Kick in the Ass, I’ve become more interesting, better looking, and increased my income on the order of ~20%! Pretty sure my teeth are whiter, too.

    I believe what you’re saying in this post paraphrases the old Zig Ziglar line “You can get anything you want if you help enough other people get what they want!” It’s most helpful to be reminded that no, it’s NOT all about me.

  • Mar 22, 2010 Tamarisk

    Great post Dave! I was aware of feeling resistant to this idea as I was reading it but something popped into my head that I heard last week – do what you’ve always done, get what you always got.

    Today is the day to get different stuff by doing things differently!

  • Mar 22, 2010 Sarah

    Thanks Alex for giving me the one opportunity that enables me to now build a real career for myself.

    Thanks Heidi for standing by me and holding me up when I was ready to give up. You’re a fantastic motivator.

    Thanks Mark & your friends for giving me such time and attention yesterday in pursuit of my career goals.

    Dear Anita, you’re such an inspiration. I am so proud of you for achieving all you have. Miss you.

  • Mar 22, 2010 Debbie

    We put our dog down at an emergency clinic two hours ago. He made our day, everyday for 14 years. Always happy to see us. When we were sad, he sat by and it felt comforting. He lived an awesome life,his job complete-his only assignment- to be content and be a source of comfort to everyone around him. A good example for living in the moment, unconditional faithfulness and devotion. I want to be that to my family and I thank God for that opportunity. We love you Bosko! Peace my baby boy.

  • Mar 22, 2010 LaShae "ItyBytes" Dorsey

    I’d like to thank my parents for allowing me to do what I do. Without their support, it would be much harder to keep pushing forward.

    I’d like to thank the members of my mastermind – if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have a clue.

  • Mar 22, 2010 Susie

    To my husband – thank you for supporting me in starting my new business & believing in me. It means more to me than I let you know.

  • Mar 22, 2010 Jenn Givler


    You’ve made a serious difference in my life. Last year, I finally decided to follow my heart and jump into fitness as a full-time career.

    Right about that time, I started reading your blog and receiving your Monday Morning Kick in the Ass.

    Not only does everything you write and produce deeply resonate with me, but you’ve inspired me into kick-ass action.

    Because of you, I’ll be re-introducing myself and the fitness business online THIS WEEK.

    And, you’ve given me the courage to follow my inspiration, and the knowledge to create a plan that is already seeing results.

    Thank you.

    Jenn Givler´s last blog ..Commitment… My ComLuv Profile

  • Mar 22, 2010 Bullwinkle

    Thanks, Dave. It works.

    Have you seen the short film “Validation”? (I have no affiliation other than I showed it during a staff meeting last week.)
    Bullwinkle´s last blog ..Sounds Amazing My ComLuv Profile

  • Mar 22, 2010 Laura Orsini

    Dave -

    I’ve known this to be true forever! Thanks for the reminder, though. Shoutout to Gayle, John, and Mary Kelemen for helping us move yesterday. You made it sooooo much easier!! Blessings all around.


  • Mar 22, 2010 Erin OBryan

    How funny you wrote this today and I posted something similar today on mine. You are so special and make my Mondays – there now I’ve done it too and I mean it not just putting it out there to comment.
    Erin OBryan´s last blog ..Pay It Forward My ComLuv Profile

  • Mar 22, 2010 Mike Warfel

    Thank you for reminding me we do not go through this life alone, we should do all we can to support our own little community. We all need that affirmation that we are noticed, that someone sees and cares what we do.
    Real estate is a tough business and in the mud of doing business it is easy to that we really depend on other knowing how much we need all of them. I will spend this week thanking each of them.


  • Mar 22, 2010 Dawn Wilder

    Dear Dave- Sometimes life is so busy that we don’t take time to appreciate those that make a significant difference in our lives. But, life is also short, and I want you to know that what you do to give us a kick-ass jump start is very much appreciated. Your no-nonsense approach with heart is something I look forward to every week. Best wishes to you in all you do. Never underestimate the difference you make in not only my life but thousands of others as well. Make it a great week!

  • Mar 22, 2010 Kathlyn

    This is great! I almost feel like I’m cheating but my first shout out is to my husband. I just sent him a text telling him it makes me happy when I see his name come up on my phone when he calls. We spend a lot of time apart (currently in the middle of at least a year) and people ask all the time how we manage. It’s because of what you’re talking about in this post – little reminders of significance mean everything. Not big gestures, small ones, all the time. So easy and so gratifying. I’m looking forward to thinking of 6 other people to remember this week! Thanks for the great assignment!!

  • Mar 22, 2010 Chris Wilson

    Thanks for the jump start this am. I have sent your e-mail and link forward to a friend who has been there for me. It felt good to pass on some great information.

  • Mar 22, 2010 Dave Navarro

    Thanks everyone for the kind words – and most importantly, the ACTION.

    You’re going to be making a lot of people happy this week. :-)

  • Mar 22, 2010 Rana Thomas

    This is great! Without even realizing it – I started doing this before I even read the email… I’ve just finished my 7 for today. Thank you for kicking me in the butt this Monday morning! Make it a great day!

  • Mar 22, 2010 AJ

    I instead of an email, I plan to do this in person. When I go out this afternoon (I work at home) I’ll find at least one, if not two, people. It is much more meaningful to do this person-to-person.

  • Mar 22, 2010 Liz

    I’m sending an email to my son’s violin teacher to let him know how jazzed my kid is to be playing in the orchestra and how much I appreciate his way with the kids he teaches.
    Liz´s last blog ..Systems Failure and the Domino Effect My ComLuv Profile

  • Mar 22, 2010 Nikki

    Hey Dave,

    Well, today I will start by thanking you for your Kick Ass messages that I get on a Monday morning. I do forward them on to family & friends so that they can also benefit from them, but to me, it’s important for me to take that time to think about what you’ve said and how to apply it. It’s all too easy to skimread it, think “Oh, I’ll do something about this later” and then of course you shut your browser window and the moment is lost. I’ve had this window open for about 7 hours today, and yet I’m only just writing.


    Dave, I really appreciate you because of your motivational emails that I get every week; you’ve made a difference in my life. I just wanted to say thank you for making me think about becoming a better person.

    Now for me to identify 6 other people. Hmm. Well, my brother has to be on there, definitely. Ooh, this is harder than I thought!

    Kudos to you Dave, truly.

    Nikki´s last blog ..How much is too much? My ComLuv Profile

  • Mar 23, 2010 Amy

    Dave – Were you listening in on my living room last night? Quite timely kick today. I liked it so much that I blogged about it and passed on the assignment to my readers.

    My first e-mail is going to my son’s kindergarten teacher.
    Amy´s last blog ..Monday morning kick in the a$$ My ComLuv Profile

  • Mar 23, 2010 Margie

    All my professional sales life I’ve touted the “send at least one note card a day to someone and you’ll lift up others and create success for yourself” school of thought. And not that I’m OLD but email is a good way to be sure you actually do it…I still like sending snail mail ‘cuz who gets good stuff in the real mail anymore. It makes you stand out from the crowd if you’re the sender. I’m starting the campaign again today, Thanks for giving me a kick start!

  • Mar 23, 2010 david

    I hope this still counts, a day late and all! I’ll send out two today!

    I want to say a special thank you to Sada Nam Kaur, my Kundalini Yoga teacher here in Granada, Spain. I’ve been going to Sada Nam’s classes now for the last nine weeks, where we’ve been working through her ten bodies program. This coming Friday’s class is going to be special for me, as it’s working on the radiant body. According to a recent reading with Sada Nam, the radiant body is very pertinent to my numerology; if I keep up with my program, consisting of meditation, mantra and kriya (committed yoga practice!), I have the potential to become totally courageous and absolutely radiant! Now that sounds like a good place to be!

    As the subject matter for the Monday morning kick touches very strongly on changing habits, shifting to a bigger game and being 150% more on it, I’d like to say Sada Nam and the Kundalini practice is providing me with a major change in direction.

    After some years working in commercial media production, I was really struggling to find the joy in working and increasingly feeling the gap widen between material reward and self-fulfillment. Sada Nam has shared many insights during the last nine weeks, but most importantly she has provided me with the clarity to see how I can apply my working knowledge of media production into a marketplace that can also provide me with the integrity and purpose I’m striving for.

    Its still very early days in terms of the journey ahead of me, but I’ve let go of trying to swim upstream. Although at times scary, the big shifts I embark on – with the affirmation that I’m keeping to a commitment – make the journey seem not only possible, but immensely enjoyable.

    Thank you Sada Nam!

  • Mar 23, 2010 Chelly

    Dave – Today I’m thanking you for the huge difference your weekly ass-kicking makes in my life. Don’t know how you always seem to know what I need to hear, but I’m so glad you do. You always remind me to play to win instead of playing not to lose.

    Thanks again!


    P.S. to Debbie – Hugs about Bosko. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  • Mar 23, 2010 Ame

    This blog post reminds me of the book, How Full Is Your Bucket? by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.

  • Mar 29, 2010 Paul

    Thank YOU Dave for this reminder!!!
    It really feels awesome to make someone else day.

    I wish everyone to practice it and make a difference to others :-)

    Have a wonderful day!!

    Paul´s last blog ..Hello world! My ComLuv Profile

  • Apr 1, 2010 Laurie

    To my sweetie Kevin,

    Every single day you lift me up! Every day you show me that you’re thinking of me, and you’re always there supporting and encouraging me to live my dreams. Even when you’re feeling down you show your concern for me, and yet you bring me so much joy just by being YOU. We are so in tune, since we met I’ve finally felt deep down that I’m not alone in this world anymore. Even when you’re physically far away, I can feel your presence in my life, making everything better. I love you!


  • Apr 27, 2010 Kalema

    I said thank you to my mentor Kaya today.

    It felt great.

    Thanks for the advice Dave.

  • May 15, 2010 Bass Drum Mallets

    It is so very hard to get beneficial info on the web. Thank god, I’ve uncovered your world-wide-web. I loved reading your content. I think you supply beneficial info. Congratulations, and constantly posting to us.

  • May 18, 2010 Mars Dorian

    This is such an inspiring and powerful way to beautify one’s life.

    I do this regularly by writing personal emails to people whose blogs I enjoy.

    It can make such a BIG difference, but it’s easy to FORGET.

    Haven’t done it for today, thanks for the reminder, Dave !
    Mars Dorian´s last blog ..Internet Marketer VS. Digital Crusader – Who Wins ? My ComLuv Profile

  • May 18, 2010 Alison Golden

    I want to thank my husband for dropping off *and* picking up our son from acting class so that I could relax.

  • May 18, 2010 April Karli

    I’ve been trying to thank or affirm someone every day since last week when I realized I don’t do it often enough. In fact, I just wrote about this same topic on my blog.
    April Karli´s last blog ..Outgrowing affirmation? My ComLuv Profile

  • May 18, 2010 Cori Padgett@Big Girl Branding

    I’d like to give a shout out and thanks to Ash from TMFproject… she sent me the nicest email last week and we’ve since traded a couple more and it totally made my day… I feel like I’ve found a new friend and I love it! :D Big hugs Ash, and get that freelancing gig rolling! xoxo


    Ps.. and Dave… you’re awesome! Keep doing what you do because you inspire so often it’s crazy! XoXo

  • Jun 20, 2010 Darryl Krikwen

    I would like to begin by thanking you for the useful information you are supplying! I will definitly add you URL to my bookmarks for future reading.

  • Jun 29, 2010 frank

    I’d like to thank my Mom for continually supporting me in all my endeavors throughout my life. she has constantly proven that she believes in me and has been putting the time, money and effort to help me get to where I am now. for that I commend her.

  • Jun 30, 2010 Lori F

    Shout out to my parents. My dad is gone now & there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss him. He showed us the fun & importance of volunteering in community & coaching youth sports. My mom is still here & is so involved in our lives & the lives of her grandkids. All of the grands want to hang w/her, and I think this is awesome. I am lucky to have her still w/us.

  • Jun 30, 2010 Mike Korner

    Dave, You are the person I’d most like to thank today. The example you constantly set for us, the great things you share, and the tremendous quality of what you have inside of More Buyers Every Month is greatly appreciated. I plan to do great things here in cyberspace and I feel blessed to be learning from you. Thanks for setting the bar VERY high.

  • Jun 30, 2010 Julie

    Dave, this is a great idea. You’re spot on with how we often devalue our contributions and the impact they have. If we stop thinking of ourselves long enough to help someone else, or build them up…we help ourselves as well.

    I want to say thanks to my awesome husband. I don’t tell him enough. He believes in me and my business more than anyone I know, including myself. He’s a great husband and father and gives selflessly every single day.

    Julie Smith

  • Jul 3, 2010 Mike Kirkeberg

    I’ve told her many times in person, but I want to say that my most powerful half, my most trusted advisor, and as a bonus, my sweetheart adds both love and value to my life.
    Mike Kirkeberg´s last blog ..They Should Teach This Stuff in High School My ComLuv Profile

  • Jul 4, 2010 Andrew Wilton

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  • Oct 22, 2010 Joanne Wilder

    If we all paid just a little more attention to each others needs the world would be a better place fulle of happier people!

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    Joanne Wilder´s last blog ..Asbestos Mesothelioma Attorneys and Lawyers My ComLuv Profile

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