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Jun 14, 2010

How To Stop Telling Your Sad, Sad Story

All of us have at least one area of our life where we feel trapped (either by an external circumstance or by an internal personality trait/habit), and it’s been dragging us down for years.  We feel powerless to change it, and miserable at the prospect of being stuck as a victim for the rest of our lives.

We don’t think it will ever change on its own.  We don’t think we can change it, either.  And so we’re stuck settling with it.

The thing is, this very thought is the highest and grandest form of bullshit, and I’m calling you (and myself!) out on it.

What you have to understand is that we’re not the victim of anything, ever.  When we feel powerless over our situation we’re not victims – what we’re really doing is choosing to become a martyr, because that’s the easy way out.

Now, before the comment flames start, let me clear in saying that I’m not implying that the bad things in your life are your fault.  What happened in the past happened, for whatever reason it happened, and I’m not going there.  Someone may have done terrible things to you, or maybe it was just a circumstance of life, and not any particular person’s fault – but you were dealt whatever cards you were dealt, and no one can change the past.

But how you play those cards that you have – that’s the present, and that’s all under your control, even if you like to tell yourself a sad, sad  story that it’s not. You may be telling yourself you’ve “done your best,” but in reality, you’ve just folded at the table and said the game is over.

(Keep in mind that I’m writing this post to myself, and including you in on it, lest you think I’m being high and mighty.)

You see, we’re really and truly addicted to our sad, sad stories.  They let us stay safe, instead of enduring the terror of facing ourselves and the bittersweet pain of growth.

You know what’s really, really easy?  Telling ourselves we have no options.  You know what’s really, really hard?  Taking responsibility and taking action.  Because a lot of times, the action we secretly know we need to take is uncomfortable and scary and something we just would like to pretend isn’t an option … so we come up with all sorts of stories why those options aren’t valid for “someone like us.”

“I’m too old.”  “I’m not old enough.”  “I’m not smart enough.”  “It’s too late for me.”  “I don’t have _____.”  “I’m not the kind of person who could _______.”  And the kicker, “You just don’t understand,Dave.  I ________.”

No, I understand perfectly.  And here’s what I understand – no matter what it is we struggle with, no matter what sad, sad story we tell ourselves, there is someone out there who is weaker than we are, worse off than we are, more tired/afraid/screwed up than we are … who is overcoming our problem without complaint.

It amazes me how many people with “nothing” end up accomplishing and overcoming more than people with “everything.”  So it’s not about resources.  It’s not about courage or willpower or talent or skill.  It’s about a simple decision that losing is not an option that’s going to be considered.

When you decide in your heart that you are going to refuse to lose, you change your entire mindset – your strategy, your reactions, everything – and you tackle your burdens from a whole different angle.  You stop accepting the “victim” mentality and you start looking for anything and everything that will help you make one of two changes:

Change #1:  Changing Your Circumstances / Your Situation

Changing your circumstances can take a hell of a lot of work, and that’s why most people never do it.  The people who don’t change their circumstances focus on their ideal situation and how it’s impossibly out of reach for them (so what’s the point of even trying?).  Every potential option is met with an excuse, a reason why it won’t work for them.

Again, I’m not being high and mighty here.  I’m an excuse maker extraordinaire, and as I’m said I’m writing this post to myself (but I’m betting that you can relate).

Think about the resistance you feel to options when they’re presented to you.  Think of the excuses you make, all the flaws in the strategies you take based on what you imagine might happen if you tried them.

If you dig deep enough you’ll realize that the real roadblock for you isn’t that you “can’t” make something work, but that you “won’t” do it. The fear, the excuses, the worry about the consequences taking action … that’s what’s really in your way.

I want you to read this Copyblogger article, On Dying, Mothers, and Fighting For Your Ideas, because it’s absolutely stunning.  It’s about a baby named Jon Morrow who was diagnosed with a medical condition that would undoubtedly kill him by the age of two, and a mother who called bullshit on that diagnosis and committed to doing whatever it took to keep him alive.  (Twenty five years later, she’s still on the winning side).

Was it because she was Superwoman?  No, it’s because she was committed.  And commitment is different than desire.

  • With desire, you often say “I wish it were this way …” and because that seems too far away, you don’t take action.
  • With commitment, you say “What’s one thing I can do right now to make this a little bit closer to the way I want it to be – even if it’s hard to do it?”

Jon Morrow’s mom didn’t say, “How can I have a healthy 27 year old?” – instead she said “I have a 2-year old with a serious condition – what do I do next?”

There’s power in “next.”  You can handle “next.”  Maybe next won’t work this time, maybe it will.  You’re guaranteed to have failures and successes, but the point of it all is that it’s almost inconceivable to be truly out of options. Sure you may not like the options in front of you, they may be uncomfortable and painful and require you to demonstrate greater courage than you have in the past, but they are options.

So stop hiding behind “I can’t” and admit that the issue is really “I won’t.”  Because when you stop hiding behind the excuse and call yourself on the carpet, something miraculous often happens: you suddenly develop the courage to give that option a try.

There’s something almost magical about facing your fears – the act of doing so can make you realize that you don’t really have to be afraid, that the downsides to “failure” aren’t such a big deal and that you’re braver than you think.  Or maybe it’s just the embarrassment behind facing up to “I won’t” that makes you decide “I will.”

The bottom line is that you have options.  Don’t hide behind imagined roadblocks and pretend they’re taking away your power.  Truth is, you’re giving it away.  Stop focusing on how you’d like things to be and instead focus on what single thing you can do today to move yourself forward.  Do that, and you’ll get there eventually.

But circumstances aren’t everything, and sometimes you don’t even have to change them to make a huge stride forward in your life.  Sometimes all it takes is …

Change #2: Changing What The Situation Means To You

You can’t change the past, but you have total control over your personal interpretation of what the past means to you.  And your personal interpretation – your “story” – is 100% your responsibility.  You can’t push that onto anyone else, because what goes on in your head is your own doing – you own it.

And owning your story is a very, very good thing, because that means you can do anything you want with it.

This is another situation where you have a choice:  You can either give away all your power and let other people / circumstances create a  sad, sad story for you or you can decide that you’re going to thrive in the midst of the crap you’re going through and use it to empower yourself instead of drain you.

Bad cards get dealt to you, I understand that.  And I also understand that we picked a few of those bad cards ourselves.  Crap happens, and while I truly don’t mean to devalue the very real pain of your past, I urge you to consider the present, and how you need to take ownership of your interpretation of those events.

You can let the pain of the past drag you down, or you can “refuse to lose” again and decide that you’re going to use the pain to create a positive experience in the present and future.

When I was 9, my family imploded.

Within a span of months, one of my parents was murdered, the other went to prison, and two of my siblings were sent to the other side of the globe for their safety while my older brother and I lived out of suitcases in New York City with whoever would take us for a while.  I moved frequently over the next few years, making friends and losing them every time I moved to a new part of the state (sometimes with only a few hours notice).

Eventually, I had to run away to a different part of the country and hide out for months for my own safety, as the environment in the last place I lived in New York escalated from alcoholic to drug-abusing to violent.

I’m not saying this to make you feel sorry for me.  Screw feeling sorry, because at my worst I had it better than the millions of people starving and dying in third-world countries.  But it was still a lot of negative influence for a pre-teen kid to soak in.

I guess I could have let it get to me, but I didn’t (and it wasn’t because I was a particularly strong 9-year old).  What really happened – and I remember it well – was I was sitting by myself one day asking myself why all this happened to me, and what was the meaning behind it. Where was the good in all of this – what was the point?

But there was no point.  It was just circumstance, and violence, and pain, and none of it for a good reason. I felt alone, like no one could really help me, and I was too young to help myself.

And that simply wasn’t good enough for me.

I distinctly remember thinking “Screw this, if there’s not a point here I’m going to damned well make one, because that’s the only way I’m going to get through this.”

  • I decided – at 9 years old – that I was going to ask myself, “What good thing am I going to create out of this situation?” and I let that question drive my life.
  • I decided I would enjoy the hell out of other people’s company, because I might never see them again.
  • I decided that when I saw people hurting, I would try to help them, because maybe no one else would.
  • I decided that when people thought things were hopeless, I’d try and help them find something to hold on to, because that kind off help is desperately needed.
  • I decided that instead of perpetuating the cycle of problems that my parents and grandparents suffered through, I’d try to break it.

I have failed at all of this – a lot – because I’m just as fragile and fallible as anyone else. But I have also succeeded at this enough to feel like this mindset is critically necessary.  The commitment to creating good out a bad experience is the antidote to so much pain, and I urge you to commit to it in your own life.

You can rewrite your sad, sad story into one that’s not devoid of sadness, but is bittersweet in the way that the pain is transformed into meaning.

I don’t know why all the painful things in life happened to me, and frankly it doesn’t matter.  What does matter is the meaning I’ve injected into it.  I’ve used my bittersweet story to help people from all over the world over the last 25 years since I was dealt a bad hand.  I’ve solved people’s problems.  I’ve had the humbling privilege of preventing suicides.  I’ve inspired people not to give up – which I still believed is one of the highest callings we have access to as human beings.

I always hear the example of Nelson Mandela, who took his 25 years in prison and instead of looking at it as unjust punishment, framed it as an opportunity to mentally prepare for leading his people in the future.  Bad cards become better.  But the problem with that example is it makes us think “Well, I’m no Mandela.  I’m just me.”

I’m no Mandela.  I’m not uncharacteristically special, or talented, or anything you can’t be.  I’m just a gap-toothed Italian kid from Brooklyn, and all I did was refuse to let the pain of my circumstances be in vain.  I couldn’t find any good in my circumstance, but I damned well decided to create some.

And I challenge you to do the same.  Embrace the pain you’re feeling right now. Ask yourself how you can guarantee that your suffering isn’t in vain.  Help people.  Help yourself.  take your sad, sad story and use it for good.

Every great story has sadness in it.  You treasure the bittersweet stories you read because they connect with the pain you know is part of the reality and the good you believe just has to be there in the midst of it.

Make your own story bittersweet.  If you can’t change the past, change your present.  And write your own future.

I needed to write this for myself – but I hope it has helped shake things up for you as well.

I’m having to face a few places in my life where I’m letting my own sad, sad story hold me back from being  the things I need to be for my family and for others.  Areas where I’m clinging to my own insecurities and weaknesses instead of facing my deep fears and taking responsible action to make things better.

I know I’ll get through them eventually, because I refuse to lose.  But I just felt the need to be honest with where I am.  I’m no saint – I screw up just as much as anyone else.  But I’ve been stewing in guilt for too long instead of getting off my ass and making myself get some of my stuff sorted out.  No more. :-)

I hope you’ve found these 2500 words helpful.

Just one more thing before you go …

I’d like to ask you to do one important thing for me – spread the word about  this article.  I think it’s one of the most important I’ve ever written, and I want it to really get some reach.  Click that retweet button below if you would, and spread the word however you can.

And when you’re done with that, use the comments below to tell me how you’re going to rewrite your own sad, sad story into something better.  Do it today – you’ll thank yourself for it.

That is all -


102 Responses to “How To Stop Telling Your Sad, Sad Story”

  • Jun 14, 2010 Dawn Martinello

    I just love it when you re-frame what I already know and kick me in my ass with it.

  • Jun 14, 2010 marshall |

    right on Dave. So much of who and what we are is determined by who we listen to. Sometimes, unfortunately, we are captive to listening to ourselves with a sad story. Listening to ourself frame our experience as bittersweet and making something of it can be very motivating.

    Keep moving, you’re still breathing!
    marshall |´s last blog ..Small chunks with consistency My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Andy Fogarty

    There IS a point and a reason for everything that happens to us all whether we choose to see it or not.

    Just look at the archives for this site alone. There’s no telling how many thousands of people you’ve helped and inspired.

    Kudos Dave and thank you.
    Andy Fogarty´s last blog ..Knowing When To Lose Focus? (Are You Focusing Your Life To Pieces) My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Amelia Jane

    Yes. Everything. My family imploded, in not such a dramatic way, when I was twelve, and it took me ten years and a friend calling me self-pitying to wake up to my attitude. Then I took my past and instead of submitting to all the terrible, I decided I never wanted anybody else to feel that way ever. Thank you. This is such a powerful post.
    Amelia Jane´s last blog ..Simple Ways to Save the World My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Lisa Trank

    Woke up feeling very blue and sad, sad for my particular situation. Thank you for this. Still feeling blue, but now have a different way to view it.

  • Jun 14, 2010 jennydecki

    I don’t know what makes me happier – that this is exactly what I needed to read today or that now I have a link to give people that tell me reason upon reason why they can’t do whatever.

    Talk about a win-win. This…this is special. Thanks.
    jennydecki´s last blog ..Even A Natural Pageant Kinda Creeps Me Out My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Michelle Habkirk

    Couldn’t have been a better read for me to wake up to today, Dave. The timing is absolutely serendipitous. Even though it’s stuff we “know” on the surface…maybe even give lip-service to when trying to help/guide another, you have a way of putting it that make it all hit home. Thank you!

  • Jun 14, 2010 Matt Maiden

    I had some similar experiences in my background to yours and that was my sad story that I always carried around.

    Your post is a reminder that
    we all have suffered and struggled and that if any one of us got through it, then all of us could.

    Seeing the success in others should not be a reminder of our personal failures but a sign of hope.

    Thank you.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Elisabeth

    I am going to share this article with my stepson who seems to be his own worst enemy and his convenient fallback for not trying is “I’m not smart enough” or “I’m not as smart as _________.” He needs to have a “refuse to lose” mentality.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Ali Hale

    Dave, what a wonderful piece, and thank you for having the courage it must have taken to write it.

    From reading Rock Your Day for a while, I had the impression that there was some powerful unhappiness in your childhood; I think like Andy says, you’re proof that amazingly good things can come out of very sad situations. Your writing on Rock Your Day has really helped me over the past year or two, and I’m sure it’s helped many many others (including that silent majority who don’t comment or tweet).

    If you’ve not read it, you might like “Success Intelligence” by Robert Holden — like you, he found strength and meaning for his own life out of a sad family situation.
    Ali Hale´s last blog ..Regain Your Balance ebook now available My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Tony Teegarden

    A blog post straight from my own depths. I feel you Dave.

    “So it’s not about resources. It’s not about courage or willpower or talent or skill.”

    I’ve always said it’s not about our resources it’s about our resourcefulness. That comes from a deep knowing of “what’s next” as you said.

    I talk about in my bio how I’ve went through much of the same pain you have as a kid but even at my worst moments, I know there are others that have had it a lot worse.

    “My pain will not be in vain,” I’ve always said.

    There’s a gift in everything we experience, whether it’s good times or bad. Both are required to create our karma. There is no good or bad. Just what is in order for us to decide what to do “next.”

    Embrace the pain is right. Whatever we resist, will persist and if you resist the pain, it will persist and manifest in darker and darker ways.

    Live in the light, and cast light on your shadows. That’s what you’ve started to do here Dave.

    Exercise and make publicly transparent that which lives in the dark. When that happens it has no where to hide.

    People are a lot more love than we think, and will support you.

    I know because I’ve done it, and have more to do my friend.

    Great post.
    Tony Teegarden´s last blog ..The (My) Guide to Asking for Whatever You Want My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Chris Anthony

    Dave, the timing of this post could not have been better for me. I’ve just had my own moment of clarity. Nothing like your experience, but my wife just came back from two weeks in Europe, my son is with his grandparents touring the American Southwest (Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, luxury hotels in Phoenix), and I’ve just spent half an hour looking through photographs of my sisters’ adventures. Meanwhile I barely leave my house and haven’t had a vacation in three years, and I’ve just had the realization why: I compulsively put others’ desires ahead of my own.

    It started as “I want to help others” and turned into “I’m not good enough to deserve the things I want”. I’ve spent years feeling like I’m a bad person for having wants that aren’t based on the wants of others, so much so that I’ve almost totally sublimated my own desires. If I see something I do want, I bookmark it and forget about it. Occasionally I’ll be judgmental at myself when I go back through – “I don’t really want that. Why did I even think I did?” And anything that I truly want, I see as an utterly unattainable goal, something that other people get to have – but never me.

    And this morning – just before I read your post, in fact – I just lost it, completely, sitting here at the computer. All of the not-going-on-vacations, all of the not-having-what-I-want-ever, all of the feeling-like-I-don’t-deserve-happiness just came tumbling down on me. Seeing a picture of my son at the poolside with my sister and my parents, hearing my wife in the next room sleeping off the jet lag, knowing (in the way that we absolutely know things about ourselves that are probably not true) that I wasn’t good enough to have joined them – it was suddenly just too much to bear. I’m still not really over it. I have that ice in the pit of my stomach that tells me that just about anything could trigger another collapse, and so I’m bracing for it.

    The toll isn’t just emotional, either. By not going out and doing things, I’m undergoing physical collapse. When I saw a doctor in late February (during a severe depressive episode), she told me that with my blood pressure, she was amazed I hadn’t had a heart attack. Part of me is glad that I don’t travel more, because I’m almost in that special class of people the airline industry holds so dear to their hearts because they can force them to buy a second seat on the plane. I routinely eat poorly, because getting the right food for me isn’t as important as not making a fuss.

    I’m exhausted in every way by living my Sad, Sad Story for the last twenty years. But I’m also done with it. I don’t have any desire to feel Not Good Enough or Undeserving ever again. And there are plenty of lessons I can take away – I know very well how to figure out what people want and act on it (or get them to act on it), and I’m extremely good at being a supporter and a helper – but I don’t have to sacrifice myself to do that.

    Next year it’s going to be me on that goddamn vacation.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Sandi

    Good reminder that it’s all made up. Why not make up something good?

  • Jun 14, 2010 Kari

    You know, I think somewhere deep in our hearts, we all know this. We know that it’s up to us to make something of our lives–and regardless of circumstances, we can be who and what we want to be.

    But I’m also quite aware that we forget about that in the times of trials and suffering because it’s a hell of a lot easier to blame other people for your problems than it is to take the responsibility for yourself.

    Thanks for the kick in the ass this morn–I needed it. Going to bookmark this and re-read it later. I’ll probably need it then too.
    Kari´s last blog ..CONTEST: “Android Karenina” by Leo Tolstoy and Ben H. Winters My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Shawna Cevraini

    Thank you Dave. I read through this, thinking hard the whole time.

    It was just the kick I needed today and I will definitely be sharing this on twitter and on my website.

    I tell people this very thing often, but I forget it myself. I needed to hear it too.

    Thank you again!
    Shawna Cevraini´s last blog ..Cafe Cevraini – 10 Daily Things! My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 jennifer blanchard

    This post was so right-on, Dave! You’re always one step ahead of where I’m at with my thinking… One thing I’m committed to (or that I’m committing to), is helping writers give up the excuses that hold them back from getting writing done (excuses like “I’m too tired to write” or “I don’t have time to write”).

    One of my all-time favorite quotes is: “While your background and circumstances may have influenced how you grew up, you are ultimately responsible for who you become”–and you, Dave, are a perfect example of this.

    Keep on rocking…and thanks for the ass-kick this morning. I needed it BIG TIME!

  • Jun 14, 2010 Maureen

    tweeted & FB’d
    Timing is everything! Just yesterday I feeling depressed about my situation…my story. I LOVE the idea of “next”…I can do and will do “next”.

    You helped me remember my favorite motto:

    “in spite of everything…keep moving forward”
    Maureen´s last blog ..June 2010 – It’s Been a Long Time Coming My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Trudy Van Buskirk

    Today I turn 60! IN 2004/5 I had a heart attack, 2 strokes (one which makes me talk “funny”, my right hand is spastic and my balance is poor so I use a walker) and three TIAs. You’d think that would keep me down but it didn’t.

    I still have my knowledge, experience and VERY positive attitude. Whenever I’m with other people (at a networking group or elsewhere) they tell me I’m an inspiration. That’s wonderful that I am a role model and can still help people by my presence.

    So … if I can do it (whatever it is) … everyone can!

    Thank you SO much for sharing this, Dave.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Lisa Marie Mary

    Thanks so much for going out on a limb and sharing such personal stuff with us to help us really get your point!

    Taking this question:

    ““What good thing am I going to create out of this situation?”

    …and going to live with it as often as I can. Because I can get down on everything so easily. And migraines rule my life and everything I do…’and you just don’t understand…’ Uh, yeah. So I’m taking that question and your story and going to get myself OFF THE PITY POT!!! ;)
    Lisa Marie Mary´s last blog ..What’s So Groovy About Dallas, Texas? My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 hrushita

    kicked ass :) its like a mind reader article..thanks dave

  • Jun 14, 2010 John Garrett

    Right on. So many “reasons” not to push forward and do what we really need to do to be happy.

    We’ve all got to make it happen for ourselves, otherwise how will it ever happen?
    John Garrett´s last blog ..Setting up your Joomla site RSS for use with Feedburner My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Nick


    Excellent piece as usual. I know someone close to both of us who could really do with reading this.

    Keep up the good work.

  • Jun 14, 2010 @TheGirlPie

    Key takeaway:
    That a perfectly swell life/story can be as impotent (or moreso) than a shit-kicker tale…

    Yikes. Please don’t make me think.

    Thanks for the shared wake-up call,
    @TheGirlPie´s last blog ..TheGirlPie: OMG~ get story by him, takeaways for all~ RT @RockYourDay [WHY to] "Stop Telling Your Sad, Sad Story:" My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Brandon Yanofsky

    Powerful article. I recently went to the DR and even there, where people are starving and dying and living in conditions I can’t even begin to imagine, they don’t let anything hold them back from making that one step forward, even if that one step is feeding their child.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Mahala Mazerov

    I wish I could go back in time and tell the 9 year old you how wise and brave you were and what an extraordinary man you grew up to be.

    We all have it in ourselves to be Mandela in our own way. To become something more than our circumstances.

    (A few of us just blogged on variations of this subject. I’ll link to you.)
    Mahala Mazerov´s last blog ..When Stories Hurt My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Tia Singh, Coach T.I.A

    Holy smokeballs!

    That’s some powerful stuff there. I won’t say I’m sorry for you, cos I’m not.

    You’re right, there are many in this world who have suffered more than any of us.

    But I will say your story touched me & I love and respect for you for being so open and gutwrenchingly urgent about NO MORE EXCUSES.

    Here’s to dropping the shackles of ‘yeah, buts’ & making a commitment to yourself!

    I’ve said this before on a few blogs and I’ll say it again – something’s in the air. Something pervasive is in.the.air.

    The past few weeks have seen many unravelling, messy, searing truth & honesty riddled breakdowns / revelations / epiphanies which are a fantastic sign that many of us are waking up to something bigger, bolder and brave.

    I can’t WAIT to see how this all plays out at a bigger level.

    Kudos world! Woohoo!! Tia @TiaSparkles
    Tia Singh, Coach T.I.A´s last blog ..How To Get Out Of a Funk INSTANTLY! My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Mary E. Ulrich

    Powerful post Dave.
    You allowed us to see your vulnerabilities, your ghosts and share in your story.

    That means you trust us, and that is a gift.It is the foundation of a tribe, or community, or family….

    You are inspiring and challenging us: “What good thing am I going to create out of this situation?”

    Thanks for starting the conversation.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Mick

    Hey Dave!

    All your posts are awesome, but this one…this one really made an impression, just when I needed it most!

    It’s been 6 months since my ex left me, and I’ve been feeling for myself ever since. And to make things worse she found someone else instantly. We were together for 3 years and she my first. Now, I don’t know if I will find someone better, gosh it sounds so ignorant of me to think something like that, but that’s how I really feel now, but anyways I’m not gonna leave these 6 months pain go to waste. I’m gonna damn sure make everything I can to get back on the road, no more days spent in the bed.

    World, I’m waking up! Get ready for it!

  • Jun 14, 2010 Darleen

    Yes .. came on a day I needed to remember NOT to be a victim of my past. So much easier to do than what NEEDS to be done.

    As a tribute to my father I will add that he was the one that instilled in me that there ‘no such word as CAN’T” – so get off your butt and do something.

    I as well have trauma in my background due to child being sexually abused by my spouse at the time. Guilt and ‘why us’ why me’ plague me. I have wanted to turn the experience around and help others going through same, and attempt to prevent sexual abuse in the family unit. BUT ..

    Also the death of ‘best friend and confidante’ has caused me to stall – due to ‘whys’ and ‘how do I continue without this person in my life’ excuses.

    Thanks for the ‘kick’ and giving me some points to ponder to get myself in gear.


  • Jun 14, 2010 Christine Morris

    Thank you for sharing your story Dave! I really believe that what we think about we bring about! Focusing on the negative only brings more negative.

    It’s a concept I couldn’t grasp until recently and it has changed my life!

  • Jun 14, 2010 Marya Miller

    “Next” is one of the most liberating words. And if you’re in a bad situation, “for now” is helpful too (not “forever”).

    One thing I find helpful is waking up and saying “I choose to have a great day today”. It really works, no matter what you’re dealing with. Doesn’t guarantee no pain – but does guarantee you’ll feel empowered. And when you feel that way, you handle everything better, which (to put it bluntly) totally rocks.

    (And I can attest, choosing to have a good day works even *better* in the middle of the worst situations – turns those feeling like wimps into warriors.)
    Marya Miller´s last blog ..Should Copywriters Get Involved in Affiliate Marketing? My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Lynn Hess

    Wow. Wow, wow, wow. You’ve written plenty of important and insightful things, but I must agree with you that this one is at the top of the list. What struck me most is that I PRIDE myself on not living in my sad, sad story — yet reading what you’ve written here made me realize that, yep, I’m doing it. Damn!

    Will spend the day thinking about what the next step should be.

    That was a Monday morning ass-kicking to cherish. Thanks, Dave.

  • Jun 14, 2010 April Tara

    Jenny Decki shared this on Facebook and I’m so glad she did. I needed to read this.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Dianne Aucello

    Dave –
    Great post today! Thank you for the courage to share your story.
    I decided 6 years ago to break the chain that kept me in an alcoholic relationship. I decided that my kids and I deserved so much better. Once you get over the crap, you feel invincible.
    Your kick hit the spot.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Cheryl

    Hi Dave,

    Thanks for telling your story and sharing what you’ve learned with us.

    One thing I’ve been working on is dealing with the loss of my father. Every time I start to get down about it, I force myself to find one more positive thing I can remember about what he did in his life, or another lesson I can learn from him.

    As for the really bad stuff in my past, I shove it out of my head as fast as possible now and refuse to give it any meaning or “time space” anymore. This is not to be confused with “burying it” or just not dealing with it. I’m just truly done with it, if you know what I mean. It all happened. I survived, and I’ve moved on. I’ve learned whatever lessons I can learn from it all, so the rest of all those memories can just take a flying leap for all I care :)

    Hope you have a great week.
    Cheryl´s last blog ..Spiced Pickled Red Pearl Onions My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Karen

    Hi Dave,

    Wow, what a very motivational and touching story about your childhood and deciding to look for the good in the life lesson.

    I’m a very firm believer that there are no victims in life. We all have choices to make, even though they may not be comfortable or easy, they do exist.

    Thank you for sharing this with us as it’s really made a difference. So many people want the softball approach – but sometimes you need a swift kick in the butt – which this is.

    Karen´s last blog ..How Healthy Is Your Relationship? My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Debbie

    Powerful stuff! If anyone has an excuse to be a victim it is you and instead you are an amazing example. Rock on Dave! You make a difference.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Hannah

    Hi Dave,

    This was definitely the kick in the ass I needed this morning. I’ve been thinking a lot about history and how certain parts of my thinking and personality are still living in the past. Ironically, it’s detrimental to the present.

    Thanks for being so open. It’s always puzzled me how some people seem to rise out of the ashes and go on to lead glorious lives while others get stuck. I’m so glad you’re one of the risers and you’ve chosen to tell other people your thoughts!

  • Jun 14, 2010 Tina Forsyth

    this reminds me dave of a bop over the head i got back in december… i was at a mastermind session with my coach (david neagle) and he asked the group this question:

    where are you playing not too lose? (vs. playing to win)

    uuuuhhhh… pretty much my whole life? it was a bit of an eek moment for me, as I tend to play very much from the ‘good enough’ side of things vs. really going for it. in business, in life, in health, in relationships – definite thread of this all over my life.

    and so i always have to check myself throughout the day as i go about stuff – is this a ‘playing to win or playing not too lose’ decision? if i don’t consciously ask myself i will default to playing not too lose everytime…

    always love my monday morning kick in the butt. :)

  • Jun 14, 2010 Mark Dykeman

    I’m reminded about that Eleanor Roosevelt quote about how we can only let others make us feel certain ways if we give our consent…

    In this case, the other is “us”.

    Dave, I can’t be happy that you had to go through the bad things that you’ve experienced, but you do seem have to emerged stronger for it. Thanks for sharing your story.
    Mark Dykeman´s last blog ..Advice On The Fly My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Barbara Stafford

    Beautiful and moving, Dave. This is going to touch so many lives. Thanks for writing it.

  • Jun 14, 2010 wong

    Love it! There are way too many people don’t take 100% responsible for their own life!
    wong´s last blog ..Of and My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Dianne

    Best ass-kicking ever.
    Thank you.

  • Jun 14, 2010 J

    THIS is what I’m talking about! Thank you for putting things back into perspective for me, Dave. Thanks for kicking me… I needed it.

  • Jun 14, 2010 shanna

    you have taken your monday ass-kickings to a new stratosphere with this piece. this is essential. this should be framed by everyone who has a story to tell. and if you have been born, you likely have a story.
    i have a pretty big one, but out of sheer stubbornness and intention i refuse to sip from the cup that was handed down to me. i am breaking the cycle. i refuse to lose.

    thanks, dave.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Brooke Yool

    Dave, this is tremendous and inspirational.

    I won’t pretend that my situation is as extreme as yours, but I get where you’re coming from. I’m a fitness trainer, and I repeatedly hear “ohhh, it must be so easy for you to stay fit, you’ve always been that way, etc etc”. Reality? My family believed that girls were meant to wear pretty dresses and serve the family, so I ended up 100 pounds overweight by age 15… then, eating-disordered… Finally, in my mid-30’s, I think I have the whole eating-exercise thing mostly understood.

    But I know that for each person who makes an “oh, for you, it must be EASY” comment, at least 10 more clients are thinking it. Like you, I don’t want to broadcast my sob story to my clientele… but I know that somehow, my story needs to be out there to help others. Still trying to figure that part out. :)

    Rock on, Dave. You’re doing the right thing.
    Brooke Yool´s last blog ..My Ten-Year Time Capsule – or, I Actually Met Long-Term Goals! My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Carl Harris

    I know a few people who use alleged sad stories to deliberately refuse to progress in areas they need to progress in – ‘there’s no point; the world is against me’.

    Think we have to be careful though we’re not suggesting people avoid their emotional issues from the past and pretend they didn’t happen. This is a form of denial and can make you ill.

    We need to go through our past, not away from it. In this way we acknowledge our true values and figure out who we are.

    When we avoid our past we fight our own self image. I think tough events, that we go through and fully experience, make us successful.

    There are some situations where we are externally powerless to alter events but you’re right, Dave, how we interpret them is our business.
    Carl Harris´s last blog ..Where are You on the Repressor versus Sensitiser Scale? My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Tia Singh, Coach T.I.A

    @Mick, I just want to tell you what you already know at some level.

    You will heal, you will fall in love again and with someone who makes your heart sing and expand so much that you’ll look back and smile at when you thought it would never happen :)

    I know you’ll be fine! I see you living life full on, with passion, happiness, love and desire. The world is yours mate, stoked for you!!

    @Tina I’m going to emphasise what you just said cos it’s SO important “Are you playing not to lose or are you playing to win”?

    Fabulous question! I ask myself that and a variation on that theme to stay on course.

    Are you trying to get out of a situation or get INTO a new one?

    Do you not want to be alone or do you want to be in a great relationship?

    Do you want to get out of your job or find a new one that makes you happy?

    Each question has 2 focus areas – what we focus on expands, so if someone’s focusing on “get out of this job / don’t want to be alone” the accompanying energy is one of struggle, not ease.

    Instead, focus on “my perfect job/business/career or the awesome relationship I want” and take inspired action from there!

    Play to win, don’t play to not lose. Gotta go tweet this now! Tia @TiaSparkles
    Tia Singh, Coach T.I.A´s last blog ..How To Get Out Of a Funk INSTANTLY! My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Jason Burnett

    Great post, Dave.

    From when I was a child, I remember one of my mother’s friends who had a child with Down syndrome. And despite all the chances this meant for her life, she and her husband kept on keeping on and still made a good life for themselves and their kids. Growing up, they were one of my touchstones for how strong people can be, and I always thought “I hope I’m never in a situation like they are. I don’t know if I’m strong enough.”

    Fast forward to the present: My wife and I our raising two autistic kids while she’s training to be a rape counselor and I’m trying to get into a PhD program in history (all while working full time). And the other day I thought of my mom’s friend, and realized that I had been placed in a situation similar to hers, and I *had* been strong enough, simply because I couldn’t allow myself to fail.

    Has it been easy? No. Has it always been present? No. Still, we keep on moving forward, one day at a time (and on the really bad days, one hour at a time).

    If you had asked me, I never would have believed I could have handled a situation like this. But apparently I can.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Dawn Wilder

    Great article, Dave – so inspiring to see where you have come from. Congratulations on being an amazingly strong survivor and getting the most out of your circumstances! These last eight months I have faced 4 life-threatening conditions, and, while at times fear can get to me (I am human, when I am out of my superhero costume), I have chosen to really live my life to the fullest, laugh every day, and set a big goal in seven months to kick these illnesses in the butt – an 11 mile rugged hike in Kauai! Stare these bad things in the face that knock us on our keister, and show them who is in control! (Hear the Rocky theme song??:). Best wishes to you, and keep the great articles coming!

    Dawn Wilder

  • Jun 14, 2010 Denise Griffith

    This was a nice Monday morning kick. I am so grateful for this article as it gave me the final kick to do what I have to do.
    This kick is been taken with a grateful thank you.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Mohd.saidely

    amazing piece bro.
    good stuff

  • Jun 14, 2010 Andrew


    Have you been looking over my shoulder? :-)

    Sad sad stories of your past become the foundation of your future if you let them. And yes, I’ve let them. Well one main one.

    A business collapse which left me homeless and in debt past my 50th birthday. As a result, I have conflicting perspectives. First to rush to get back on track whereas I really needed to be good to myself and acknowledge what I’d achieved and then strengthen myself internally.

    The opposite is that I’ll never get over my limiting beliefs.

    But day-by-day, one step at a time, I move forward both on personal rebuilding and my business recovery knowing I’ve got another 50 years in which to rebuild.

    Thanks for the KITA Dave.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Mike Reeves-McMillan

    *stands up clapping and cheering*

    “If there’s not a point here I’m going to damn well make one.” I love that attitude.

    As a young man 20 years ago I made a series of mistakes, aided and abetted by other people who also didn’t have a clue. I needed to make those mistakes sometime and learn the lessons from them, but it wounded me and I’ve kept some of the scars.

    Recently, though, I’ve been revisiting those scars and doing metaphorical self-surgery (I don’t recommend literal self-surgery) to remove them, and once again that experience is teaching me yet more positive lessons. (My attached post contains some of them.)
    Mike Reeves-McMillan´s last blog ..How to Find Your Way in Less than 20 Years My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Lisa Wood

    Such a humbling post, Dave. Thanks so much for having the courage to share it.
    Lisa Wood´s last blog ..Is Your Product Launch Backfiring? My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Haider

    Hi Dave,

    Thank you for sharing this great piece.

    I’ve been thinking about this issue a lot lately: how our past can influence the life we lead today, and to what extent we give it permission to do so. Acknowledging that we’ve gone through rough times, or that we’ve been unfairly treated is a liberating experience when we can pinpoint the roots of our current problems, then choose to move beyond them.

    I was brought up to believe that life on earth is evil, and we should only aspire for success in the afterlife. And while I’ve completely changed my outlook on life, the beliefs I’ve been brought up with have left their impression on my psyche, and influence every decision that I make.

    But in the same way that I’ve chosen to take responsibility for forming my own beliefs, it’s also my responsibility to deal with the psychological impact my upbringing has had on me, and to live by my own values, and not the values I’ve realized are damaging to human life.

    And with this realization, I am also able to help others realize ways in which they compromise their own happiness and prosperity, by helping them discover the beliefs holding them back.
    Haider´s last blog ..Productivity Woes Over Google’s Pac-Man Game My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Catherine Caine

    Thanks for sharing this, Dave. It’s going on my mental corkboard.
    Catherine Caine´s last blog ..Catherine’s toolbox: Remembering stuff for me My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Sherrie St. Cyr

    As a therapist and coach, I’ve worked with lots of people who were very attached to their sad, sad story. The truth is there is no way to move forward without letting it go of the story and forgiving yourself and others for everything that happened. It all starts, as your turnaround did, with a decision. Thanks for a great post!
    Sherrie St. Cyr´s last blog ..Motivation – Use What You’ve Got? My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Elana

    Dearest Dave, thank you for sharing your gift with us. And the world.
    I love it.
    “Embrace the pain you’re feeling right now. Ask yourself how you can guarantee that your suffering isn’t in vain. Help people. Help yourself. take your sad, sad story and use it for good.” Yes sir!

  • Jun 14, 2010 Christina

    Just amazing. I have recently been working harder than ever before in my life at taking my Sad, Sad Story and using it for good, and simply refusing to let my past and the mess I used to be control me.

    Thank you so much for this post. I know I’m on the right path, and I finally have developed a certainty that I can do it, but god is it ever hard sometimes.
    Christina´s last blog ..May 31, About me My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Rene

    Wow, I will pass this on. I know lots of people who seems not to be able to get over their sad past. I hope this shakes them up and helps them move forward.

    Thank you, thank you.

  • Jun 14, 2010 Jodi Lee

    Wow, amazing article, will spread it around. Thanks for the swift kick!

    Jodi Lee´s last blog ..Live a BIG life My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 14, 2010 Kelly

    I was directed to this site twice today so I figured I better check out the article. So glad I did. Now I’m going to share it with others.

  • Jun 15, 2010 Charlie Stratton

    Talk about an ass kick(!)
    Right where I needed it.


  • Jun 15, 2010 ZombieAssKicker

    Hi Dave,
    Brand new to your site (found it through a friend on Facebook!) and so glad I did. I’ve wasted a year mourning over someone that I gave (and continue to give) all my power to, and am slowly, slowly picking myself up and trying to move forward, to learn from it, and make a fresh start. I think your blog will help me do that. Thankfully I have a few ass-kickers in my non-cyber life too :) Thank you for your words of wisdom. Hope to learn more from the Ass-Kicking Master!

  • Jun 15, 2010 Sue

    Dave, you are an awesome human being. Thank you for putting this out there. It was just what I needed to read tonight. Two things stood out: 1) To ask myself how I can guarantee my suffering isn’t in vain and 2) own my story and change it. I work on releasing my story – it seems all the time – because I KNOW it’s just a story. But to OWN it and therefore really change the outcome? That’s a powerful concept. Up until now, I’ve just been oh, sort of casually HOPING my suffering would end up not being in vain. What’s with that? It’s important to ask ourselves questions such as “How can I guarantee my suffering is not in vain?” Gotta ask a good question.

  • Jun 15, 2010 Michaela Kennedy

    Awesome post, Dave. You’re weaving all of these into a book someday, right?! After reading, I thought of my friend Alex Makarski (no, I have no business affiliation) who does a lot of JVs in Personal Development. Hope you guys find each other.
    Yes, you rocked my day once again.
    Cheers, Michaela
    Michaela Kennedy´s last blog ..Working Planet’s Soren Ryherd, PPC Rock Star My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 15, 2010 Marlene Hielema

    Dave, Inspiring story. It really shows there is no excuse for not doing things, not trying. I will go into this day with your words fresh in my mind, and just get over it.
    Marlene Hielema´s last blog ..Photographers! Are you using Twitter yet? My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 15, 2010 Nancy Taylor

    I wasn’t surprised to read this today! I’ve been getting this type of message every where I turn for 2 days now. I am committed to listen, learn and do whatever it takes! Oh, and definitely to share it… Peace!

  • Jun 15, 2010 Scott

    Thanks for reminding me of the power of “next” (and not “how can I turn this entire thing around”).

  • Jun 15, 2010 Jennifer Louden

    Oh Dave, your shining heart shines so brightly here. I love how blogs, and books, and retreats, and coaching are spreading the truth about story. Story changing is one of the most powerful ideas to hit the Western world, and it will continue to change lives. You have just added a wonderful clarion call to the chorus. Thank you!
    Jennifer Louden´s last blog ..You Do Not Have to Earn your Weirdness My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 15, 2010 Dan Rip


    Amazing blog. I’m sitting at my desk with my head in my hands asking myself this very question of how to reframe my recent misfortune. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. Thanks for the kick!

  • Jun 15, 2010 @MorganDayCecil

    There is no need for one more motivational blog post to be written on the internet. You just gave us everything.

    More will be written though because we need to be constantly reminded that our circumstances and our personal histories do not define us– I need to be constantly reminded that my circumstances and personal history does not define me.

    I am so moved right now, but I know the true test will be the next time I am feeling deserving of my poor-me mentality. Will I be humble enough to go back and re-read what you have written here today? I hope so.

    Thank you so much for sharing your sad, sad, story, so the rest of us can’t stop sharing ours.
    @MorganDayCecil´s last blog ..Here is the Pleasure of… My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 16, 2010 LUCKY

    Wow! I don’t know where to start. You have a tremendous ability. You’re posts are always great and scary at the same time. The scary part is how close to the bone you are. The great part is you have a suggestion that is right on. For me today it was “I can’t” is really “I won’t”.

  • Jun 16, 2010 Jennifer

    You have no idea how timely this article is. I’m printing it out to read every time I’m tempted to fall back into the darkness. Thank you!
    Jennifer´s last blog ..An Open Letter to Mr Chase My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 17, 2010 karissa

    Will definitely pass this on. Sometimes we dwell too long on the “Why?” and fail to see beyond and ask ourselves, “What now?”

  • Jun 17, 2010 James Schipper

    Beautiful words, Dave. I know you were talking to me. Thanks for the reminder.
    James Schipper´s last blog ..How to Minimize Your Life for Travel: Books My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 17, 2010 Bridget

    So, maybe this isn’t so much how to stop telling your sad, story, and instead, how to gain the truth and value of it, and then use that perspective to live a life of value.
    Learning your sad story helps me understand you. It’s not all you are, not even close, but it’s a part of you and it has value. And I’m really happy that you shared it with us and are helping folks transcend their sad stories too.
    Thanks so much for sharing Jon Morrow’s story.
    Consider the fire under my ass officially lit.
    Bridget´s last blog ..Imagination and Intuition and a Moose named Doug that Cares. My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 17, 2010 Linda Esposito


    Not expecting this on a night when I hope to celebrate a Lakers loss (yes, I’m from LA).

    When you talked about options, I thought “Hell-to- the-yeah–there’s always options if life,” which I repeat ad nauseum…

    Then I read about your 9 y/o implosion, and as a therapist and mother of an almost 9-year-old, my heart broke…

    Just want to say that I bet you are the most kick-ass husband and father.

    Take care, and this was likely the best post I’ve read all year…

  • Jun 18, 2010 Annie Stith (@Gr8fulAnnie)

    Hey, Dave!

    What a post! Thank you for being so open and honest about your story of your past and the strength it has taken for you to choose to face it.

    What I really appreciate your pointing out is that it’s not a one-time decision, but a part of the cycle of life.

    I have chosen to move from being a victim to healing wounds from my past several times, finding more of myself on the other side each time. Even at 50, I know I’ll probably have to do it again.

    The thing is, each time we make that choice, it adds to our history of successes that we can rely on for the strength and determination to do it again.

    (An aside: I won’t add “courage” because each time I face it, there’s fear and doubt and old tapes telling me I’m safer where I am. I just take a deep breath and jump anyway, transforming all that negative energy into anticipation about what else I’ll find out about who I really am.)

    I’ve chosen as my next step to go public, developing a website where I hope my story will help others choose healing. It’s part of the purpose I’ve found from facing it over and over again.

    Thanks again, Dave. I didn’t mean to get so wordy. This is something I’m quite passionate about.


  • Jun 18, 2010 Jessica

    I was in my 40s before I learned to stop feeling sorry for myself. You were an amazing kid to learn that lesson so early. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reminder. Now I gotta go do some stuff that needs doing. Have an awesome weekend.
    Jessica´s last blog ..Technical difficulties make me sad My ComLuv Profile

  • Jun 18, 2010 Peggie

    About 4 months ago this really came into focus for me — all my sh*t was me, being a martyr. to say I was pissed at the revelation is an understatement. Not wanting to be a martyr despite the evidence, made me take some serious action and start sorting.

    I loved this:
    “So stop hiding behind “I can’t” and admit that the issue is really “I won’t.” Because when you stop hiding behind the excuse and call yourself on the carpet, something miraculous often happens: you suddenly develop the courage to give that option a try.”

    and I’m printing it out to put up where I can’t hide.


    P.S. — you’ll get it sorted and you’ll make an even more massive impact on the people who need you as you do. I know it.

  • Jun 18, 2010 janefrog

    Wow….I can’t believe what elequence you have brought to the feelings I have had for so very long. I work in education and i am so SICK of people making excuses for themselves, their children, and the lack of expectation for anyone and anything….Bravo to you for putting it all in such a comprehensable read…

  • Jun 19, 2010 Janice Cartier

    I think you’ve just let that nine year old kid loose again. Fiercely brilliant. Core fire burning brilliant.

  • Jun 19, 2010 Acmanapat

    Wow! This article is indeed one of a kind. I will share it to all of my friends, Dave! Thanks much! :)

  • Jun 20, 2010 Cindy Bidar

    Fantastic kick in the ass Dave. I’ve been telling people this for years, though not this eloquently. From now on I’ll just point them here. Thanks for getting it right.

  • Jun 21, 2010 Clara Mathews

    Thank you for this post. It was so very inspiring for me. I read it a few times to let it sink in.

    Not only will I share it with others, but I will bookmark it for future reading; For those days when self-doubt, fear and hopelessness creep into my thoughts.

  • Jun 22, 2010 Cathy

    Sad story: buried both parents too young, broke my neck in an accident and lost my job due to recovery time. Good story? Seeking out everyday motivation and steps to get back in the game and emerge stronger than ever. Found this website and have added it to my arsenal. THANK YOU!

  • Jun 27, 2010 Daniela

    Hello Dave,

    thank you so much for sharing your insights on this topic!It really touched my heart and made me think hard about my own life.
    I already spread the word and sent your post to friends and family.

  • Jul 14, 2010 Shauna

    Great topic, thank you for sharing.

    My mom was killed when I was 4, my stepdad went to prison for it. People deflate when they find out but I never used the pity. I’d usually say, “It’s really not that big of a deal… things could be worse.” I had grandparents to care for me and a stable home environment. The older I get, the more I see the ways it forced me to grow and evolve and become more resilient. I would never say I’m happy it happened – I’d love to hug my mom again -but it does teach a profound lesson:

    Your life is not the hand your dealt but your reaction to it.
    Shauna´s last blog ..My Daily Smile Project My ComLuv Profile

  • Jul 15, 2010 Theo Cade

    Great challenge Dave. Inspiring. Looking forward to many more. My wife and I just heard your interview with Sam Rosen at purposeful products. You have 2 new fans.

  • Jul 17, 2010 Jake Mayer

    Thank you again. Health, money, all of it in our control – and non of it incapable of change.

    And a particular thank you for the linked Copyblogger article – wow. I am truly humbled and inspired.
    Jake Mayer´s last blog ..The Healer’s Lament My ComLuv Profile

  • Aug 4, 2010 Mares

    Hi Dave!

    I had only two things to say right now:
    1) At 58, I’m ashamed :(
    2) THANK YOU :) !!!

    …and 3) I’m going to share (as much I can) the gift you gave away with this article.

  • Aug 9, 2010 andrea

    I completely just came across this while I was searching online. This is faith, coming across this page. I could completely connect to what you were saying dave… I was wondering if any one knows if Dave has any books out? I would really like to buy one or all. Thanks!

  • Aug 10, 2010 Mary E. Ulrich

    Dave, Powerful story and powerful writing. I agree, this is your best piece. I’m sitting here with tears running down my cheeks.

    My new mantra is, “There’s power in ‘next.’ You can handle ‘next.’”

    Mary E. Ulrich´s last blog ..Son with Asperger’s interviews Mom My ComLuv Profile

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