How To Start Getting Balanced When You’re Too Damned Busy
Written by Dave Navarro on May 7, 2008
“Give a little bit / Give a little bit of your time to me” - Supertramp, Give a Little Bit
It’s been a gritty, no-hold-barred set of posts on Rock Your Day lately. I’ve asked you whether you’ll regret where your goals take you, and made you come to terms with the reality that you won’t get a second chance to make up for lost time. The time to balance your life is now, not some magical time later that you’ve been telling yourself is just around the corner for months/years/ohmygodhasitbeenthatlong.
But the challenge most of us face is that we feel like we’re already too damned busy to get balanced. What are we supposed to do? Don’t worry - I’ll give you the goods after the opening act. 
Getting Balanced Happens One Step At A Time
The trick to getting balanced is to take the pressure off. We tend to resist taking action to balance our life because the idea of getting balanced seems overwhelming, like climbing Mt. Everest in one hella-big jump. Even the phrase “getting balanced” carries the connotation that we’ve arrived, that everything is in order, and fundamentally we know that life just ain’t so. So why even bother to try conquering the mountain in one jump?
The simple answer is this: don’t try. Don’t saddle yourself with the tension that comes when you try to set too many goals at once, when you try to mold yourself into the perfect Superman/woman we know no one can never be (yet somehow still tell ourselves is a reasonable goal). Instead, focus on today. Right now. Specifically, a slice of time from 5 to 15 minutes.
You may not have time to balance your life today, but you cannot tell me that you can’t carve out 5 minutes to work on something. You can try, but you know that you’d just be bull$hitting yourself. I say that from a position of authority, because I’ve been doing it myself, telling myself that I’ll “get around” to a few things I’ve been slacking on but have resisted because I have so much on my plate. So for a moment I’ll have to stop kicking Brett’s a$$ and start kicking my own again.
15 Minutes = 3 Areas Of Increasing Balance
Here’s an example of what I mean by taking balance one step at a time. On a physical level, I know I need to get back into yoga (or my sister won’t stop bugging me). On an emotional level, I know I need to get back into focusing on gratitude daily. And on a spiritual level, I know that I’m not spending the time that I used to looking inward and asking the tough questions.
So here’s what I’m going to do over the next 7 days - I’m going to carve out 5 minutes for each of these things - no damned excuses allowed - everyday for the next week. Sure, 5 minutes of yoga a day doesn’t sound like much, but think about it - I can develop a mini-routine of a few nice stretches. 5 minutes of journaling what I’m grateful for? I know that will make a difference. And 5 minutes of introspection? It won’t necessarily change my life, but it will make me more conscious of what I’m doing and thinking … and that’s where momentum gets built.
5 minutes seems like too small a slice to be worthwhile, but from experience I know it’s incredibly worthwhile, for two reasons.
- First, it’s like tracking what you spend or what you eat - the very act of awareness begins to change your attitudes and habits automatically.
- Second, once you taste a little bit of balance, you crave more. You start getting more motivated to find more time, and 5 minutes turns to 10, then 20 … and an upward spiral begins.
It’s easy - so easy that you’ll be tempted to not try it yourself. But I challenge you not to shrug this off.
Dave’s 7-Day Challenge To You (Don’t Pass It Up!)
I wouldn’t be much of a friend if I didn’t try to kick your a$$ a bit too. You know the 3 things I’ll be spending 5 minutes each on for the next 7 days … what are yours? Tell me in the comments area below. Don’t be shy or make excuses - just pick 3 areas of your life that you want to get more balanced and “give a little bit of your time” to it.
You have 15 minutes. You know you do. Use it to change your life. (Oh, and if you haven’t done it, take 15 seconds to subscribe to this blog for more adventures in a$$-kickery)
Dangidydangdang! That was the funnest kick in the Arse I’ve had in the longest bit. Nothing like putting it to music to get me feeling like moving!
I love that song. I played it again while I’m writing my comment. can you tell?
Gosh and I brought my kleenex box too.
Ever since I did my frog pots post last week, Ive been doing my fifteen minute thing much better. I’ve been: Walking ( Now up to 30 minutes and adding back in little bits of running) 15 minutes of office organizing daily ( You can’t believe the difference after one week) and one extra pot a day- each day.
It’s been a good week. I feel much less loaded down and more creative and energetic. So yeah…I’m in!
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..The Attitude of Staying Put
Thank you for the reminder! I had been meditating for 5 minutes for a few weeks, then stopped because I thought 5 minutes just wasn’t making a difference. Well, it does! I felt less centered, more stressed out, less “in the moment.”
So, yesterday I started again and felt much better… Other than meditating for 5 minutes, I will borrow your gratitude awareness — I’m not a journaler (despite owning my blog), so I will think of what I am grateful for at the start and and end of each day, before I get out of bed. And, third… stretch before I ride (I guess I’m borrowing your yoga one, too). I do yoga regularly, but 5 extra minutes before I get in the saddle should make for an even better, more centered ride.
Sorry for rambling… Thank You!!
Dave,
Your a$$-kicking is so damned effective that just one boot will be felt by my great-grandchildren…
I am going to do those exact three things, actually, because they’ve all been slipping - I normally do stretches, I journal, and I meditate.
So easy to get busy, and I know that all too well. I’ll let you know how it goes, next week.
No excuses. Thanks for the virtual a$$-kicking.
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post..time.
@Wendi -
No Kleenex needed today - just action!
I *can* believe the difference 15 minutes a day makes so quickly - glad you’re seeing the results!
@Kelly -
Ramble on. Take 5 minutes to ramble right here in the comments. Each day.
@Brett -
The game is on! No excuses.
Dave- That was your boot kicking my a$$e outta bed this morning at 4am ….solution to a sticky problem solved…course this is going to be a coffee day now…something must be out there because just this weekend I vowed to get back to my yoga, restore my routines, and move toward that passion profile on Seth Godin’s graph and not the pop one. Sometimes in process things get out of balance. It’s all organized chaos , but there have to be islands of peace.
I chose an NC diptych for my post this morning as a small thanks to you.
Janice Cartier’s last blog post..It Begins With a Puddle
I’ve been saying for a while that I miss playing guitar. It sits 10 feet from me and stares me in the face every day. I glance, I feel guilty and I ignore it.
I went to a show last weekend that rocked me but good, and I came home determined to quit screwing around. Too busy? Yes. Yes, I am too freakin’ busy to play guitar.
So I started playing 10 minutes. Just ten a day. That’s all. Amazingly, my toddler didn’t protest (she hates noise, one of the reasons I stopped playing). The day after, it was 15. Then 20.
Then yesterday evening, I took my guitar outside. My toddler needed some quality time with Dad, and Dad needed a break. She played in my company, and I played for her company.
I hope to continue on this track. It’s time for James to quit bullshitting himself about what really matters. Yes, I want to earn income and be rich and famous. I’m not going to get there tomorrow, so I might as well slow down a bit and enjoy the ride instead of beating myself up trying to make it there faster.
It reminds me of someone who drove very slowly and carefully. He stopped at every sign, every light. I said, “Dude. Everyone else is doing 100 clicks.”
He answered, “If I do 100 clicks, we’ll get there *maybe* 15 minutes earlier. And I might have an accident on the way because I was speeding. It’s not worth the 15 minutes to me if I’m never going to see my wife again.”
15 minutes matters, guys.
James Chartrand - Men with Pens’s last blog post..Our Small Business (or Reading with Your Monitor Off)
James -
My Daddy used to play guitar when he was in college. He has his old guitar, which is warped enough to be unplayable, in the living room. It had been there my entire childhood. It was always in the living room. I had never, never seen my father play.
Until we gave him a new guitar two Christmases ago. Now he plays for about an hour, every day. He was 54 years old when we gave it to him. Never too late.
That was also the only Christmas where we ever got him something he didn’t even know how to want, the only time we made him cry for joy at a present. My Daddy’s not a crier. We’re still trying to figure out how to do it again. Thankfully, there aren’t many guitars in the proverbial living room. That would be sad.
I love listening to him play.
Tei - Rogue Ink’s last blog post..Versatility, Hats, and the Happy Man
OMG! You said hella!
Apparently this word originated in the area where I live (Northern Cali) because back in ‘95 when I lived in Southern Cali for a while, I would say hella this and hella that and the kids down there were like hella? WTF?
Then they started saying it too.
A couple years later, No Doubt released “Hella Good.” And it was. Hella good, I mean.
And I’m totally with you on yoga and gratitude. I think I will go for those this week too! Last time I practiced daily gratitude, many good things came of it.
-Gen X Valley Girl
Melissa Donovan’s last blog post..Devilish, Daring, and Demure: Meet the Hottest Women in Poetry
Dave,
Nice post. 15 minutes do make a difference.
Okay, 3 things that I can commit to adding to my day for a week… is it cheating to say I already try pretty hard to be balanced? Yes, it is. Try again…
5 minutes every day of weights. It’s not much, but as is I do ten to fifteen sometimes, when I think of it, if I can’t come up with a reason why not. So 5 a day is better than 10-15 twice a week. More balanced.
5 minutes every day of contacting a friend. As it is, if it doesn’t relate to my daughter, to work, or to blogging, I probably don’t do it. I can call or email a friend a day for a week, and feel pretty good about it.
5 a day of non-work related offline reading. Just a chapter, probably, but I’ll get a big kick out of it.
I like it. I’m a 7-Habits balancer from way back, so I’m always trying, but I do let things get out of whack. I figure if I can remember kid comes first and everything else comes last I’ve got it in the right order, but sometimes I realize that is a pretty short list.
I’m going to knock out all three right now, so I’ll know I’m on my way to starting this new habit. Adios!
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: No Regrets!
@Janice -
These boots are made for kicking! Thanks back atcha (now what the heck is a diptych?)
@James -
My guitar will be a future 15 minutes activity …
@Tei -
Never too late.
Great story
@Melissa -
Hella yes! I admit that Trizle.com probably has me saying that more than I normally would …
@Kelly -
Mmmmm, action. Good stuff!
Sweet Dave!
Didn’t even see the coincidence until I saw your comment (like 24 hours later almost when I checked my email.)
Keep up your great work, man!
Andrew’s last blog post..Why Your Future Sucks
@Andrew -
Trizle is always at the top of my RSS list and a constant reminder that I can let my inner badass out in my writing …
I accept your challenge!
I tagged you for a meme…. http://rpgcentric.com/blog/?p=29
@Sandie -
Cool! Will respond this weekend or thereabouts …
http://twitter.com/davenavarro
[…] “I hate lemons” Navarro threw down the gauntlet the other day, a 7-day challenge to spend 15 minutes a day doing three things to bring more balance into our lives. I picked up […]
@ Dave-boots definitely felt every morning at about 4am what’s up with that???
A picture in two parts=diptych…triptych= three That piece is large, two pieces of heavy weight watercolor paper abutted. I did it from Graveyard Fields Falls off the Blue Ridge
(update: routines and passion position good, yoga needs work..must put the yoga tunes back on ipod… I see it. I see it… It’s a marketing position, you pervs …seriously. : ) )
Janice Cartier’s last blog post..Long Shots
Ok, three things five minutes each:
1. Cleaning. No really. I hate it and put it off as long as possible. If I took just 5 minutes to do it instead of think about it, I’d be living in the clean house I dream of.
2. Sitting down for lunch instead of holding the baby and working and eating all at the same time.
3. Knitting. I think I need more than five minutes but I’ll save up my five minutes for a few days and do 15
Jen’s last blog post..Dreams
You know when you read something and you know that you knew it all along, but needed to be told, again. And again…
We need to restructure to handle the busy-ness and devoting specific time to this and not just doin’ the tasks is making a difference. I started two week ago and hired a virtual assistant. Now I need to do the next thing.
Evening walks with my partner are becoming more intentional.
Thanks Dave.
Quick checkup - anyone have results to report?
@Dave,
Things right on track - did the stretching a few minutes ago, post run, wrote in my journal earlier, and now about to unplug and meditate for 5. This week has been good.
Thanks for the inspiration…
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post..canada 2, greece 0. a story about running.
@Brett -
No prob - I think I should post my 5 minute yoga routine soon, too
Ha, now talk about holding someone accountable - you rock, Dave.
I played guitar:
The 8th - none
The 9th - over an hour (started with a “just 15 mins” mindset)
The 10th - over an hour
The 11th - none
The 12th - half an hour
The 13th - half an hour
The 14th - none
That’s more than I’ve played in months.
James Chartrand - Men with Pens’s last blog post..Writing Website Content Headlines
Dave,
Friends suffered bit (only managed to reach out 3 days) but the other two I did faithfully and I love it!
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Because the Side of my Head Has Been Sore for 25 Years: Prize Time!
Dave-boots, boots… yoga has suffered at the expense of passion position and routines, those are going great…yes, some stretching, some sun salutations, but too brief…:( My tunes have been moved, my mat displaced…ack..my chi is running amok.
Janice Cartier’s last blog post..It’s About Relationships
@James -
“More than before” = 100% win. Keep it going …
@Kelly -
Again, any progress is a win!
@Janice -
Keep it going … Namaste.