How To Change Things You Don’t Like In Your Life By Using Events

Yeah.  You’ve probably read this before.  My webhost rolled back my server and wiped my last week’s worth of stuff, so I must repost.  Hooray internet …

When I look back at any successful habit change I’ve worked through in my life, I can see a pattern in them – more often than not, they were based around events I wanted to experience rather than willpower, deadlines, or paper goals.  In other words, what kept me focused and motivated on following through wasn’t what I wanted in an analytical sense, but instead more of a desire to feel a certain way at a certain time.

Events that carry powerful emotion tend to move us to action much more strongly than when we try to act through logic or willpower, though usually it’s in a negative direction (the fear and uncertainty that cause us to procrastinate or stress out).  But when it’s in a positive direction, our desire to feel a certain way (or to be part of something) is absolutely primal in how it drives us.

We see it all the time:

• In the person who has no willpower when it comes to eating, yet suddenly takes total control so she can fit into that bridesmaid’s dress for her best friend’s wedding.

• In the person who procrastinates forever on a major life goal, yet hops on board with a freakish intensity to beat the deadline of the big 4-0.

• In the person who finds the drive to work extra hours or start her own business so she can take the kids to Disney World this summer or make this the best holiday ever.

It’s Not About A Goal – It’s About A Feeling

What all these examples have in common is that they center around an event - some specific feeling at some specific time – which you want with an intensity you can feel down to your bone.  You believe that being in a certain state of mind/body/finances at that time and date will give you a rush which will be so worth it that it’s easy to take action no matter how hard it might seem to be.

In fact, the difficulty is an afterthought – because you’re not going to let anything get in the way of you experiencing the rush of that event.

• How good you’ll feel zipping up those clothes you couldn’t fit in 6 months ago.

• How satisfied you’ll feel closing the cover of that book you’ve been meaning to write for a decade.

• How powerful you’ll feel picking up gifts for the kids, and not even being concerned at what number rings up on the register.

We want experiences.  We want feelings.  We want to live in the rush of that moment.  And that drives us more than a carefully worded goal ever would.

How To Apply This Right Now To Change Your Life

Think of some change you’re making in your life.  Now tack an experience onto it. You want to lose weight?  Pick a certain pair of pants you want to fit in by Christmas.  Focus on how good that’s going to feel, immerse yourself in the feeling, and see yourself enjoying that moment so much that you’ll be damned if anything gets in your way.

This may sound simplistic, but it drives your decisions every day of your life. Every time you “just can’t wait” for something. Every time you enjoy goofing off rather than working.  Every time you choose the chocolate instead of the carrots (note to self: you bought the carrots, now eat them before they go bad again).  You do this all the time in negative ways, when we give in to the desire to experience an event that give us momentary pleasure or relief from conflict.

But you want more out of your life, or you wouldn’t have been reading this far.

Take control of the events you focus on rather than letting your focus fall to your mind’s self-defense mechanisms (the ones that keep you trapped in weak behavior that doesn’t serve you).  Pick one thing – just one thing – and focus on it for a week. Think of where you want to be one week from now, some event that will feel good – whether it’s stepping on a scale, depositing a check, or seeing someone special smile – and focus on experiencing that.

When you’re not willing to sacrifice the big experience you want, you’ll be much more inclined to make the small sacrifices that will get you there.

Three Other Events That Can Help You Change Where You Are In Life

Ok, this is a straight shift into “business mode” – if you don’t run your own business (or you’re not considering making extra money), you can skip to the comments or Stumble this page or whatever.   But if you’re entrepreneurially inclined, there are three things you need to pay attention to today.

• #1, Naomi Dunford (my personal business coach) is releasing the premium version of Online Business School at 3pm Eastern today.  There’s some free stuff here that you can enjoy in the meantime.

• #2, If you have any inclination to pick up the premium version of Online Business School, you will want to return to this blog 1/2 hour before launch because I’ve got a special pre-launch question-and-answer session with her and I’ll be giving away my $147 time management program 30 Hours A Day for free to anyone who buys via the link on that page.  1:30 EST. (It’s been delayed … subscribe to my newsletter to get notified when it’s live) Drop back by, and look in the sidebar for the big honking link.

• #3, If you didn’t catch it via my email list, you need to check out Jeff Walker’s Product Launch Formula videos (all free) because the stuff in there will help you get a hell of a lot more out of Online Business School (whether you listen to the free or premium version of OBS).  Product Launch Formula is pretty pricey, so I don’t expect you to buy the full version – but just watching the videos can help you make more money, period. Start watching them here.

So that’s it.  Check out Online Business School now, come back here at 1:30pm EST (in a bit) and check out Jeff Walker’s videos as well.  Do all that and you’ll be setting yourself up for an exciting event in the future – one where you have more control over what you do with your life than ever.