If anyone is looking for an external structure to help them make a plan, I have a free course (personal-change-course.com). Takes you through a simple seven-step goal-setting and planning process with videos and worksheets.

(/ad). My aspirational habit at the moment is to be more intentional about Twitter and use it as a tool instead of a time-waster.
Mike Reeves-McMillan´s last blog ..Are You Ready, Willing AND Able? How To Get Motivation for Any Change

Situation:
3 time a week my spouse takes the kid to daycare. I love to sleep till the last possible minute before getting ready for work so as soon as they leave I’m back in bed.

Problem:
The problem is I’m tired all the time because my job is stressful and I have no time for exercise other than the morning!

Solution:
As soon as the kid leaves, I get on the treadmill. Whether I make it 10 minutes or 1, the important thing is to show up.

Result:
A longer and more active life to enjoy with the rugrat.

Thanks, Dave!

Many people in their anxiety to fix themselves try to quit a habit cold turkey, only to fail because their underlying needs were legitimate, like the example you used of a smoker who needs to relax. The need for relaxation is usually real, and not something to be ashamed of.

Sometimes people fail to meet the need adequately because they lump the need with the habit, feel guilty for the need, and feel the need to punish themselves for ever having the need at all. Take your desire for a soda, for example, it is not bad to want to feel energetic, but if you expect yourself to suffer through a serious lack of energy, you’ll dramatically increase your chances of falling back into the habit.

Perhaps going for a quick walk when you hit an energy slump, or taking a 20 minute nap would be better approaches. The point is not how you meet the need, but that you identify it, isolate it, and set about nurturing, not punishing, yourself. Punishing yourself will naturally lead to rebellious feelings later on, just like demonizing something that isn’t inherently “bad” sets of your inner bullshit meter (love that!)

Neglecting the underlying need may also just be an oversight, in our eagerness to take advantage of whatever momentum we have, we fail to examine the problem closely and as you said, fail to make a workable plan.

Thanks for the ass kicking. Helps to have a voice stating clear, concise and guilt-free ways to actually get somewhere in reality instead of living longer in the la-la-land of wishful thinking and good intentions.

Off we go!