Catch Yourself Making Excuses, Then Do Something About It
This is going to be the subject of a long, long post when the blog gets moved, but I wanted to give you something to chew on this weekend because I just got called on it myself.
Yesterday on a coaching call I mentioned to a client that excuses are something we tell ourselves to avoid taking action. We say we’re too busy, or we’re too tired, or it’s not the right time because X, Y or Z. Or worse: “I just don’t know where to start.”
“I call bull – - – -.” was my response. We do what we want to do – not what we say we’d like to do, but what we want to do – and we do it at all costs. Think about all the times you went above and beyond, when you did whatever it took, even when it was tough, embarrassing and/or painful – because you really, really wanted something.
Excuses are a simple way of absolving ourselves of taking action. It’s easier to make an excuse than push past our comfort zones, to face our fears, or to take responsibility for the fact that when it comes down to it, we just aren’t willing to take action. And that’s no way to live. No. Way. To. Live.
Allowing excuses to remain in your life is equal to planting the seeds for regret and watering them faithfully every single day. Don’t be a sucker. Do whatever it takes to push past them.
Why am I banging this gong so loudly? Because yesterday I got called out on it, as I had lunch with a friend who asked me why I hadn’t made progress on something that four months earlier was absolutely critical to my long-term happiness. I kept trying to answer, I could recognize that everything I could think of saying was nothing more than excuse.
So I ate my damn Chinese food instead, and then made a deal with him that I’d be accountable for emailing him every single day with a quick note on something I had done to push forward, no matter what. Sent the first email last night. Feels good. Damn good.
Now What Are You Going To Do?
Take your hands away from the keyboard and mouse and ask yourself this: What are you settling for simply because you’re making excuses? What do you need to tackle that’s worth tackling, no matter how hard it is? What matters most that you’ve been neglecting? Seriously, stop what you are doing and think about this NOW, before you let it slide and regret it for years … or forever.
…
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Now, get in touch with someone you trust and ask them to hold you accountable for proving you did something to move forward on a regular basis. You’ll know if you’re on the right track by how badly you’re squirming when you think of it.
You get one shot at this life. Don’t make excuses. Get accountable. Move forward. Don’t let another day pass you by.
Do something about this now. Not later, when you’ll conveniently tell yourself “I’ll get to it.” Do it now.
You’ll thank yourself for it.
Dave
Excellent. Freakin’ excellent.
I agree with the accountability part – and I’m thankful that Harry and I both have each other to be accountable to. Many, MANY times he’s called me out on things I’d been procrastinating about with gentle hints (those hurt worse than barked-out questions and make me feel guilty as schmuck) and many, MANY times I’ve called him out as well. (I do direct, not gentle.)
It works like you wouldn’t believe. You can make all the excuses you want to yourself, but it’s damned tough to make excuses to someone else when they know you’re full of shit.
Dave,
Super post. It reminded me instantly of one of my favorite motivational quotes which I sling around now and then:
There is no try. There is only do or not do.
(Embarrassingly, it’s from the movie The Karate Kid. It’s the only thing that stuck with me in the movie.) I still hear it in my head whenever I think about making an excuse, and I’ve passed it on to my daughter, too. It reminds me that “not do” is a choice, whether I make it consciously or sabotage myself subconsciously. A lot fewer things float by me subconsciously, all because of that phrase.
Accountability to myself, I guess. Should I have more accountability to someone else? I don’t know. I do think you can’t hide your plans under a basket and expect them to work out. Secret plans=planned failure. I talk about goals and direction with others, but I don’t usually have anybody else hold the measuring stick. I’m not sure it would work for me, but I know an awful lot of people really need that.
This was a real head-nodder!
Regards,
Kelly
Glad you liked the post, Kelly!
On another note, even more embarrasingly (for the Karate Kid), Mr. Miyagi repurposed this from Yoda:
“Do or do not … there is no try.”
As far as whether it would work for you .. you don’t know until you try!
No way, really? The Star Wars thing?
Unbelievable.
My Dad took me to see Star Wars at least a dozen times (he was addicted), and I have no memory of that. I saw Karate Kid once, and I remember it for over 20 years. That’s just weird.
Until I try. Ha!
Thanks for the update. I think it’s far too late to rewire those connections in my brain.
No worries, I quote the Karate Kid all the time around the house.
Wax on, Wax off,
Dave
Is this the quote we’re talking about?
“Walk on road, hmm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later, [makes squish gesture] get squish just like grape. Here, karate, same thing. Either you karate do ‘yes,’ or karate do ‘no.’ You karate do ‘guess so,’ [makes squish gesture] just like grape. Understand?”
– Mr. Miyagi
@Hunter -
AWESOME.
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