Comments on: The 5 People Who Secretly Control Your Life

By: Mike's Life

Mike's Life — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:33:55 +0000

Mike’s Life Posts of the Week 10th July 2009…

Here are my favorite posts from around the web this week:

How do you let folks know what you do without pitching them

By Liz Strauss on Successful Blog

Good advice from Liz about pitching (or not!) about your business.

Talk about Tr…

By: Sean Oliver

Sean Oliver — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 06:54:58 +0000

Thanks for your posts. You provide just a large enough nudge to break me out of my complacency.

By: Kelly McCausey

Kelly McCausey — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 22:51:33 +0000

Dave, I loved this! I realized a couple of years ago that I let my ‘nemesis’ influence me just by paying attention to her. I stopped give her any attention at all and set up a new rule for myself. If I notice that my thought and emotional responses to a person are more negative than positive – I just cut them out.

It has had a great impact on me Helped me to focus on people that are a blessing to me and my life.

By: Alex Damien

Alex Damien — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 18:34:45 +0000

Great post! I loved the way you put both sides of the coin in all the people who influence us and how we can chose to take the good and the bad. I especially liked the heroes one. Because althought I strive to remember that we all are just imperfect people, it's really hard to keep it in mind with people that we really admire and strive to be like. Thanks for the post, it was very useful! Alex Damien's last blog post..Corruption Of The Self

By: Zemalf

Zemalf — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 16:10:16 +0000

Great article, sent me thinking about stuff again

Overcoming oneself is the biggest obstacle/constraint there is. People are masters at underestimating themselves (perhaps influenced by other people to do so?) and overestimating others (especially those heroes). So it’s easy to give up, before even trying. I’d hope everyone not to let others or themselves put them down, but go for the goals they want to achieve.

Zemalf’s last blog post..Top 5 Free Tools to Organize Your Ideas and Blog Posts

By: Cath Duncan

Cath Duncan — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:42:59 +0000

Hi Dave,

Great stuff in here. When we realise how we’re influenced by other people (and who those other people tend to be), we realise how much it’s all a figment of our own imagination, and how we really don’t have to be so worried about what those people think – often they don’t even think what we think they think. And a lot of the time, they’re someone who’s our “nemesis”/ not important to us… yet we let those thoughts about them affect us so strongly.

Thanks Dave,
Cath

Cath Duncan’s last blog post..How to use Agile Momentum to Escape Your Cubicle

By: Business Development | Social Media Literacy | » Productivity Recap- Friday June 26/09

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 10:55:08 +0000

[...] Dava Navarro of Rock Your Day writes about ” The 5 People Who Secretly Control Your Life”. This post discusses the time when you come to the realization that your personal preferences are largely based on what other people view as acceptable and what it means to set your own standards for yourself. This begins by identifying the five people who influence you. http://www.rockyourday.com/5-people-who-secretly-control-your-life/ [...]

By: Annie O

Annie O — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:38:57 +0000

Some things never change do they? As I read the articles and the comments I couldn’t help but think about the peer pressures as a teen. We tend to think of peer pressure on teens as bad but peer pressure is actually just influence and that can be bad, good, and indifferent.

I like what you have to say because it’s putting the responsibility of influences on the influencee. It’s about being proactive and then becoming selective and that comes with experience and experience promotes maturity.

Great article on raising awareness.

By: Craig

Craig — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 12:17:14 +0000

Very nice post. I totally agree with your points. Especially the partner issue, I'm currently going through the whole 'lower standards' thingy-ma-jiggy. Craig's last blog post..5 Tips to Improve your Blogging

By: Jahnelle Pittman

Jahnelle Pittman — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:30:32 +0000

Came across a RT on Twitter with your blog link and hit on one of them about half an hour ago. I’ll have to spend some time on your blog to reread – I just soaked it up and moved on to the next. I had to stop and comment on this one, though.

The last bottom line – for the person in the mirror – struck me hard.

“Nobody is going to fight your inner battles for you, so you have to do it yourself. You have the power to set a new standard where you actively build yourself up on a daily basis and stop beating yourself up – but only if you choose to.”

It’s only been in the last six years that I realized this bit of wisdom and set out to figure out what I wanted my standards to be. Before, I was the depressed individual living passively. Now, I’ve set my standards, set my principals and built them to a strength that (in weak moments where I might try) I can’t drop them.

It hasn’t been easy, it hasn’t been fun, but it’s been worth it. One of the things I’ve noticed, that I wanted to mention, is that once you have those standards it becomes that much easier to recognize when others are influencing you. I have finally – FINALLY – reached a place where I am confident, strong and (fairly) well-balanced.

I think that’s where the awareness comes in. If you put in the work to get where you want to be, to be who you want to be, to succeed at life, you start to become aware of the situations/comments/thoughts/patterns that might put you back where you started.

Excellent post, Dave – I’m a new fan! Now to see what I can glean from the time management riffs… too much to do and there NEVER seems to be enough time. lol