What To Do When You Decide To Stop Settling For Less In Your Life

If you’re dissatisfied with an area of your life, what are you going to do about it today?

On any given day you wake up, rub the sleep from your eyes, and make a decision to do one of two things:

• You decide to live passively, doing the things that keep you exactly in the same place you are now, reinforce a victim mentality, and leave you wishing for more, or,

• You decide to live purposefully, taking multiple actions during the day that make you a stronger person, advance your goals, and make you happier.

Every day, you choose one of these options, whether you do it consciously or unconsciously (in which case you’ve chosen the first option by default).  You don’t get “not to choose” - you’re part of the game whether you like it or not.

The only question is, whose rules have you decided to play by?  Rules someone else is making you follow, simply because you think there aren’t any options, or that you don’t have the power to do more, be more, and experience more? Or have you decided that you’re going to make your own rules, live life on your own terms, and create the circumstances that you want in your life?

That’s the question you need to ask yourself right now.  How are you going to live out the rest of your day?

• Passively, crying “I’m a victim,” and staying right where you are?  Or

• Purposefully, declaring “I’m worth more than this,” and taking action today to move even one step forward, no matter the odds?

What are you going to do today? I hope you’ve decided.  Otherwise, you get the default choice of letting life, the world in general, and people who don’t have your best interests at heart decide just how much life you’re allowed to have today (and it’s unlikely to be a generous portion).

What are you going to do today? If you haven’t made a decision for today, you need to do it now.

Living Passively Leads To Depression

We’ve all experienced what it’s like to live passively, to tread water and feel like there’s no clawing our way out of the hole we’re in.  Maybe you’re feeling that way right now, and it makes you feel weak or stupid or somehow “less than.”  It’s important to be aware of how living passively feeds those feelings of inadequacy, and how it’s actually making you depressed.

If you honestly feel that life isn’t going to get any better and that you have no real power to change your situation, it’s perfectly natural to feel depressed. It’s the logical progression.  It’s not something to feel stupid about any more than you should feel emotionally responsible for the house getting cold in winter if the fireplace is neglected.  If there’s no fuel being added to the fire, those warm embers will turn to cold ash.

You’re not stupid or weak because the fire’s going out.  It’s just happening, because on some level, you’re allowing it to happen either from inaction or taking actions that aren’t the right ones to get that fire going.  You may be putting in 100% of your best effort hauling the heavy, wet logs you have around you into the fire, but that damp tinder isn’t going to burn.  You’re not stupid or weak, you’re just in a spot where what you’re doing isn’t working.

Maybe that’s how you’re feeling.  Let’s talk about adding the right kind of fuel to that fire.

Living Purposefully Leads To Relief

Living purposefully is like adding fresh, dry wood onto the fire and watching it burn.  It takes some work, but you get to enjoy the results of that flame, warming your sense of self and having your eyes reflect each satisfying spark.

When you live purposefully, you decide to rise above what life seems to be giving you and you decide you’re going to take more out of it, either from stepping out and simply experiencing more or by beginning to build the circumstances you want.  And both of those actions begin feeding your sense of personal power, of self-worth, and of hope for the future. Even if you’re only taking the smallest of actions to change things, if you’re taking them on a daily basis it’s like adding kindling to the fire and keeping it active.

Taking action creates a massive power shift where control shifts to your hands, and when you’re in control, you feel better about your situation.  You feel that blessed relief you’ve been looking for.  You know what you want in life, what you want to be all about, and you have a clear finish line to start working from.  Having a purpose - a true, motivating, energizing purpose - is a game-changing advantage which opens the door to the richly satisfying life you’re really after.

So the question is, what do you have worth living for? What is it that you’ve consciously decided will drive you on a daily basis to shake off the shackles, fight against the habits that hold you back and demand more out of this life you’ve been given?

I don’t expect you to answer that now.  Most of us don’t think about purpose much - or maybe we do, but we think about what we wish our purpose was, “if only things were different.” Instead, we should be focusing on how we’re not willing to settle for less than living that purpose, that meaningful life, no matter how much internal or external resistance we’re facing.

What To Do When You Decide To Stop Settling

When you’ve made the decision to live a life that’s more than what you’re experiencing now, you’ve got an uphill climb ahead of you - but the view from up there is nothing short of amazing.  I’m going to lay out some ideas that will help make that climb easier and help make sure you’re going in the right direction, but you’ve got to pay attention if you want to come along for the ride.

Your first step is coming in the next post, where you’ll hear about a 15-minute exercise that can help you get incredible clarity about what will make you happy and lead to a more satisfying life.  There will be a worksheet you can download and a full set of instructions, and it will be free.  But you’ve got to pay attention so that this doesn’t fall to the wayside or get put on the back burner.

And the way to pay attention is to subscribe to my newsletter, which will be making the shift this week from a time-management/success tips newsletter to a full-out, kick your ass on a weekly basis newsletter that doesn’t pull a single punch.  If you’re already subscribed, no worries - you’re all set.  If you’re not, now’s the time to subscribe.

I hope you’re ready to stop settling.  I’ve been focused on this all year and the results have been incredible.  I’ve still got quite a climb ahead of me, but the going’s always easier when you have some friends along.  Join me and the 1,000+ people subscribed to my newsletter and let’s get started on creating the circumstances you really want.

Thanks for reading, and here’s to making the decision to stop settling for less, and to start changing your life.

Dave

How I Made $1,270 Yesterday (And What You Can Learn From It)

Yeah.  You’ve probably read this before.  My webhost rolled back my server and wiped my last week’s worth of stuff, so I must repost.  Hooray internet …

I know I’m taking a bit of a risk making a post with a headline like this - but I’m a lot less concerned with who might be turned off and a whole lot more concerned with the people who are going to sit up, pay attention, and take control of where their life is going financially.

Last night, between dinner and midnight, I generated about $1,270 in affiliate earnings promoting Naomi Dunford’s Online Business School (as well as pre-sales for an additional product Naomi and I are working on together for release in December).  And while I’ve been active in affiliate marketing for a few years now, I’ve never had a payout like that before.  Last month was a close second, with about $550 generated over a period of several days (thanks Havi!), but this was a huge step forward for me.

The thing of it is, this increase wasn’t an accident - it happened for a reason.

Amazing Things Happen When You Take Really, Really Detailed Notes

As I’ve mentioned before, I purchased Jeff Walker’s Product Launch Formula last year before my launch of my 30 Hours a Day time management program.  It was pricey ($997), but had a 60 day guarantee so I felt comfortable giving it a try - if it was all hype, I could return it in a heartbeat.  I studied the material, launched the program, and made back what I spent (and a bit more) in 5 days of an initial launch.  It ended up being a sort of free education that has radically increased my ability to market effectively both online and in my day job.

A few months ago, I broke open the CD case for the program and went through it again, taking incredibly detailed notes about everything Jeff was covering.  I read through his bonuses like case studies, interviews and sample launch material, and took even more notes.  But I took notes with a special attitude, and that’s what I want to share with you.

When I took notes, I mentally imagined that I would never get a chance to go through this material again, and that this was my only opportunity to learn from it. Once I did that, the level of “click” I experienced as I took notes went through the roof, and I absorbed ideas that I had missed before.  Ideas that I used to do a series of promotions that gave me greater returns with each one I ran.

Here’s What You Need To Do With All This Information You Take In

Since information is so easy to come by on the web, we tend to listen passively and not take more than the most cursory of mental notes.   This means we’re taking in a lot bt not “keeping” very much of it at all.  My hope is that this blog post will help change that.

When you’re serious about changing something in your life - whether it’s losing weight, controlling your temper, making more money or building better relationships - take effective notes with the attitude I just described.  Act like this is your one shot to absorb information, and then act on the notes that you take.

There is no substitute for careful thorough study.  “Ready, Fire Aim” will definitely get you started, but when you want to take it to the next level you need to spend a lot more time on the Ready and Aim.

It was careful study which allowed me to make October and November my best affiliate earning months ever.  December will be even better, because I’ve been taking even more notes over the last few days.

Now I invite you to do the same.

Watch These Videos And Take Careful Notes If You Want To Make More Money

Yesterday I told a lot of people to buy Online Business School, mainly because it’s a solid product with an affordable price point (and I was throwing in my $147 bonus as well). Even if you don’t buy it, you should still listen to the interview I did with Naomi, click the link and listen to the free audio and video resources on her page.  But don’t just listen - set aside some time and take detailed notes.  There is simply no way you can’t boost your business on the strength of the free content alone.

And if you want to really take things to the next level, you need to do the same for Jeff Walker’s free Product Launch Formula videos - and you should do it first, because this launch is only going to happen for 24 hours, starting at 2pm EST tomorrow.  Jeff has a huge following and is only selling 500 copies on this re-launch, and I guarantee that he will sell out well before those 24 hours are up.

Now I’m not telling you to buy Product Launch Formula - it’s $2000 now, so it’s well out of the price range of most people - but the videos you’ll get access to are a goldmine of note-taking goodness.  If all you did was watch the free videos at lunch tomorrow, you’ll learn valuable information you can use to increase the amount of money your business brings in, month after month.

One More Thing - I’d Like To Personally Coach You - For Free - If You’re Willing To Take The Plunge

(I’m sorry - Product Launch Formula is off the market, so this offer is off the table as well)

Now if you do happen to pick up Product Launch Formula tomorrow before it sells out, and you purchase it through this link right here, I’m going to help you put it into practice.  I’ll give you four one-hour coaching sessions - something I normally charge $1000 for - all focused on helping you run a successful launch.  And I’ll also give you a copy of all my products as well - 30 Hours a Day, Becoming an Early Riser, and more.

Please Note: You must clear your browser cookies first before you order, as it is the only way I will be credited with the sale and can give you the coaching bonus.

If I’m not credited, there’s nothing I can do - so please be sure to clear your browser cookies, click the link above, then order.

So if you want that coaching, clear your cookies, click here and get Product Launch Formula.  If you just want some free education, click here as well and take some great notes.

As for me, it’s time for bed.  I’ll see you on the other side.

All the best,

Dave

PS - I can only offer the free coaching and products to those who clear their cookies and buy via my affiliate link.  If you buy from someone else’s link, I can’t extend the offer.  Thanks for understanding.

How To Change Things You Don’t Like In Your Life By Using Events

Yeah.  You’ve probably read this before.  My webhost rolled back my server and wiped my last week’s worth of stuff, so I must repost.  Hooray internet …

When I look back at any successful habit change I’ve worked through in my life, I can see a pattern in them - more often than not, they were based around events I wanted to experience rather than willpower, deadlines, or paper goals.  In other words, what kept me focused and motivated on following through wasn’t what I wanted in an analytical sense, but instead more of a desire to feel a certain way at a certain time.

Events that carry powerful emotion tend to move us to action much more strongly than when we try to act through logic or willpower, though usually it’s in a negative direction (the fear and uncertainty that cause us to procrastinate or stress out).  But when it’s in a positive direction, our desire to feel a certain way (or to be part of something) is absolutely primal in how it drives us.

We see it all the time:

• In the person who has no willpower when it comes to eating, yet suddenly takes total control so she can fit into that bridesmaid’s dress for her best friend’s wedding.

• In the person who procrastinates forever on a major life goal, yet hops on board with a freakish intensity to beat the deadline of the big 4-0.

• In the person who finds the drive to work extra hours or start her own business so she can take the kids to Disney World this summer or make this the best holiday ever.

It’s Not About A Goal - It’s About A Feeling

What all these examples have in common is that they center around an event - some specific feeling at some specific time - which you want with an intensity you can feel down to your bone.  You believe that being in a certain state of mind/body/finances at that time and date will give you a rush which will be so worth it that it’s easy to take action no matter how hard it might seem to be.

In fact, the difficulty is an afterthought - because you’re not going to let anything get in the way of you experiencing the rush of that event.

• How good you’ll feel zipping up those clothes you couldn’t fit in 6 months ago.

• How satisfied you’ll feel closing the cover of that book you’ve been meaning to write for a decade.

• How powerful you’ll feel picking up gifts for the kids, and not even being concerned at what number rings up on the register.

We want experiences.  We want feelings.  We want to live in the rush of that moment.  And that drives us more than a carefully worded goal ever would.

How To Apply This Right Now To Change Your Life

Think of some change you’re making in your life.  Now tack an experience onto it. You want to lose weight?  Pick a certain pair of pants you want to fit in by Christmas.  Focus on how good that’s going to feel, immerse yourself in the feeling, and see yourself enjoying that moment so much that you’ll be damned if anything gets in your way.

This may sound simplistic, but it drives your decisions every day of your life. Every time you “just can’t wait” for something. Every time you enjoy goofing off rather than working.  Every time you choose the chocolate instead of the carrots (note to self: you bought the carrots, now eat them before they go bad again).  You do this all the time in negative ways, when we give in to the desire to experience an event that give us momentary pleasure or relief from conflict.

But you want more out of your life, or you wouldn’t have been reading this far.

Take control of the events you focus on rather than letting your focus fall to your mind’s self-defense mechanisms (the ones that keep you trapped in weak behavior that doesn’t serve you).  Pick one thing - just one thing - and focus on it for a week. Think of where you want to be one week from now, some event that will feel good - whether it’s stepping on a scale, depositing a check, or seeing someone special smile - and focus on experiencing that.

When you’re not willing to sacrifice the big experience you want, you’ll be much more inclined to make the small sacrifices that will get you there.

Three Other Events That Can Help You Change Where You Are In Life

Ok, this is a straight shift into “business mode” - if you don’t run your own business (or you’re not considering making extra money), you can skip to the comments or Stumble this page or whatever. :-)  But if you’re entrepreneurially inclined, there are three things you need to pay attention to today.

• #1, Naomi Dunford (my personal business coach) is releasing the premium version of Online Business School at 3pm Eastern today.  There’s some free stuff here that you can enjoy in the meantime.

• #2, If you have any inclination to pick up the premium version of Online Business School, you will want to return to this blog 1/2 hour before launch because I’ve got a special pre-launch question-and-answer session with her and I’ll be giving away my $147 time management program 30 Hours A Day for free to anyone who buys via the link on that page.  1:30 EST. (It’s been delayed … subscribe to my newsletter to get notified when it’s live) Drop back by, and look in the sidebar for the big honking link.

• #3, If you didn’t catch it via my email list, you need to check out Jeff Walker’s Product Launch Formula videos (all free) because the stuff in there will help you get a hell of a lot more out of Online Business School (whether you listen to the free or premium version of OBS).  Product Launch Formula is pretty pricey, so I don’t expect you to buy the full version - but just watching the videos can help you make more money, period. Start watching them here.

So that’s it.  Check out Online Business School now, come back here at 1:30pm EST (in a bit) and check out Jeff Walker’s videos as well.  Do all that and you’ll be setting yourself up for an exciting event in the future - one where you have more control over what you do with your life than ever.

How I Broke The Chains Of Corporate Slavery, Gave Myself A Raise And Cut My Stress

Don’t Skim This Post: As we move into the “stop settling for less, start changing your life” theme of this blog, I’m going to talk about finance for a while, because it’s really, really hard to focus on improving your life when you’re stressed about the bills. Let’s talk about how to start reducing that stress today.

Longtime readers will know that even though the bulk of my blogger friends are full-time freelancers, I’m not one of them. In fact, “firing my boss” isn’t on my real list of priorities at all. And since I know that a huge portion of my readers are freelancers, that’s probably going to come off as heresy - “What? Office life is hell!” I hear … “No, no, no … working for “the man” is for suckers!”

Frankly, I’m a little bit tired of people getting on a high horse about “Corporate America” and how soulless it is, and how being your own boss is the One True Path to salvation. Like most extremes, it’s flawed because it assumes that everyone in the world has the same goals, the same opportunities, the same circumstances. But don’t tell that to some people. They’ll burn you at the stake (but I’m not naming names).

Wake up, people. There’s nothing wrong with working for “the man.” I’ve worked for the biggest of the big as well as small startups for over a decade, and it’s given me opportunities to do things that most people will never do (and play with cutting-edge gadgets so expensive I’d have to change my identity and run away if I broke them). I like my day job in the tech sector. It’s got a lot to offer.

But what it doesn’t offer is merit-based raises that I can live with - and that’s stressful.

Why Letting Other People Choose Your Salary Enslaves You

You know what really sucks? To work your ass off all year and then hear “Sorry, money is tight. There’s no raises for anyone this year.” Or to have a boss downplay your achievements and award you a weak raise on a whim. Or to have inflation drive prices up … and have your salary stay flat. It’s frustrating sucks, and feels completely unfair. Why should your salary be some crap shoot?

This is probably the number one reason people jump ship from the corporate world - but that doesn’t make freelancers immune to it, either. I’ve heard more stories about bad clients who won’t pay someone what they’re worth, or how the economy or some other factor is pushing rates down than I ever wanted to hear. But whether your corporate salary or your freelance rates are flat, it all comes down to one thing - you’re letting somebody else control how much income is streaming into your life.

And that’s dangerous.

To let other people control how much you’re worth is one of the most sinister forms of slavery. Earlier this year I decided I’d had enough, I broke my chains, and I’m never looking back - and I did it with no risk to myself, my day job, or my mortgage at all. And if you’re not getting paid what you’re worth, I’ll show you how to do it, too.

How Tiny Multiple Streams Of Income Saved My Bacon

Most people don’t start their own business because they worry about how tough it will be, or think they’ll have to quit their day job to find the time.  But I didn’t believe it had to be that way.  I took what I had, at the place where I was in life, and focused on generating small, manageable streams by waking up early, or sitting in my car on my lunch hour, working on my own stuff.

I did a little eBay (and my wife did, too). I did some phone and email coaching. I made an ebook and tried to sell it (with mixed success, though I got much better at it this year). I was making $50, $100, $200 a month, and it was sporadic, but it was something. And something is damned important when you have 3 kids, a mortgage, and a job in an industry that’s feeling the crunch more than many others (tech companies close down at the drop of a hat).

I’m like a lot of you - I spent far too long living paycheck to paycheck, worrying like hell what would happen if another one of my employers closed down, or if the hot water heater needed replacing, or market demand for my job went away. It’s unbelievably stressful, and I think you probably know how that feels. It’s slavery again - having your fate be at the whim of circumstances that you have no direct control over.

In a lot of ways, that $50 or $100 a month saved me from financial disaster. When my clutch went out, ($640) or when an unexpected tax bill came in ($150), those little chunks of income saved me (since most of my credit cards were maxed out). Since I was working multiple angles at the same time - eBay, the coaching, the ebook - if I had a bad month with one, the other streams picked up the slack.

And every so often, we’d come up ahead and could actually do something nice, like go to the beach with the kids for a weekend (though admittedly my wife’s eBay earnings were more responsible for the fun stuff). There’s just no way to describe just how much stress melts away when you can give yourself a raise - even as little as 5% a month. 5% is huge when you’re living paycheck-to-paycheck.

How I Grew Those Tiny Multiple Streams Of Income Into Bigger Ones

At the end of last year, I realized that I was hitting a wall with my side businesses. I wasn’t sure how to grow them past the few-hundred-dollars-a-month level, and I really, really wanted to cut back the hours and spend more time with my family. So I started looking around for freelancers who were really good at business-building, who could advise me on how to streamline what I was doing.

I started taking advice from people like James and Harry at Men with Pens, Naomi Dunford of Ittybiz, Michael Martine of Remarkablogger, Christine O’Kelly of Self Made Chick, and Sonia Simone of Remarkable Communication. I asked them what to do to so that I could work fewer hours on my side business, make more money, and protect myself from a fickle economy.

They showed me. They helped me find opportunities. They taught me how to take the streams of income I already had and build them into bigger ones - without killing myself with crazy hours. And at this point, I’m averaging around the four-figures-a-month mark, and it was all because of hanging around people who could tell me better ways of doing things. Credit cards are being paid off. Vacations are being taken. I’m able to take my family out to Olive Garden and not worry that my kids will choose something that costs more than $3.99.

I’m not rich - not even close. But I’m not stressed about money anymore. That’s huge. If my company closed today, I now know how to pay the mortgage and the power bill while I find a new job. That’s a gift I’m unbelievably grateful for.

What You Need To Do Right Now If You Want To Give Yourself A Raise

If you want to take the stress out of your life and give yourself the a raise you deserve, you need to spend more time listening to people who will teach you how to take control of your circumstances. People who are experts at teaching someone how to go from $50 a month to $500, $1000 or more. Not the scammy, hype-ridden, get-rich quick internet marketing crowd, but the real people who have started from scratch and built their business up month after month without doing anything shady to make it happen. :

The best thing you can do right now is listen to Naomi Dunford’s short video on how to give yourself a raise using 6 web-based income streams that you can start making money on this month. I’ve used 5 of these streams this year, and Naomi’s personally coaching me on the 6th. Good times.

So forgive the big link below, but I know some people will scan right down to the end of this post and skip everything I spent the last hour typing. Here goes:

Hey Skimmers:  Click Here If You Want Naomi
To Tell You 6 Ways To Give Yourself A Raise
Without Selling Out Or Working Yourself To Death.

Yay. Big link out of the way. I hope you clicked it.

More soon on how I’m using what Naomi taught me to - gasp! - actually start putting money in my savings account for once.  Enjoy the video.

Why Your Resoultions Never Change Anything (And The One Thing That Does)

As we’re heading towards a new year, a lot of us are going to be thinking about New Years Resolutions, those feel-good (but ultimately hollow) promises we make to ourselves.  For all but the smallest percentage of people, New Years Resolutions will never, ever work.

The reason for this is simple - if you can put off a habit change / life change until a new year rolls around, that’s a sign that you just don’t have much motivation to make it happen.  You may wish it would happen, but you don’t really want to do the work to get it (and that’s why you’ve been putting it off).  You may have a whole new year ahead of you, but you’ve still got all the old desires that will keep you trapped in the place you’re at now.

Wake-up calls, however, are a different matter.

Hitting You Where It Hurts:  The Powerful Punch Of A Wake-Up Call

What drives change in a person?  Someone once said the two driving forces are inspiration - or desperation.  Guess which one is more powerful?  Desperation.  It’s what drives you to bad habits, to escape activities, to addictions.  You’re desperate to avoid fear, or hard work, or conflict, so you drive yourself away from those things (and miss out on a lot of growth in the process).

But desperation can also push you forward.  When you realize that your kids are almost grown up and you’ve never told them how much you love them, or that your job is about to disappear and you have no fallback plan, or that you only have a year to live - that’s a wake-up call.  Something happens, or something clicks, and suddenly you’re aware of how much you’re about to lose … and you get a massive burst of motivation to make radical changes in your life.

When a true-wake up call hits, you seem to have access to levels of willpower, tenacity, and full-out energy that you never knew you had in you.  You change your life faster than you ever thought possible, and it doesn’t seem as hard as you thought it would be because you’re fully committed - desperate not to lose out on the little time you have left.

Chasing The Wake-Up Call:  Your Fastest Path To Power

As I said last week, this blog is changing direction - or maybe just changing intensity - and the focus will be on living a life that matters.  Living a life where you have no more regrets, where you push past your fears and the lies you tell to yourself and you finally stop settling for less, and start changing your life. I’m going to be laying wake-up call after wake-up call on you until you feel all the drive you need welling up inside so you can finally take massive action to design the life you want.

I don’t want you to wait until some random wake-up call years down the road inspires you to do the things you’ve wished you would.  I want you to get hit with it as soon as possible.

And while I work on that, I’m going to toss this wake-up call at you, direct from one of my closest blogging friends Naomi Dunford of Ittybiz.  She’s repeatedly kicked my ass so that I could past some of my personal roadblocks and get the most out of 2008 and I think her latest message will do the same for you.  You can read Why We’re Broke (And How To Fix It) right here.  If this unstable economy worries you in the least, her wake-up call is sure to help you find the motivation to start turning things around before things get too painful.

I’m going to read it again right now - why don’t you join me?