Staying Motivated When It All Goes To Hell

If you got a hunger for what you see / You’ll take it eventually / You can taste the bright lights / But you won’t get them for free” – Guns N’ Roses

It’s easy to get motivated by an idea.  A plan. A goal. We tend to get easily excited by and obsessed over these (and other) four-letter words.  The thought of them is intoxicating, and when you’re caught up in the euphoria, suddenly all things seem possible.  You want it bad, and you chase it with a smile on your face.

But there’s another four letter that most people don’t like to face, and that’s work. Sure, you may have been partying with your goals and ideas and plans all night long, but work is what you wake up with in the morning. And while it may be the new hotness for a while, sooner or later you find that the thrill is gone.

Baby, Don’t You Love Me Anymore?

When your goals just aren’t doing it for you, when you’re not getting excited enough to chase them anymore, something is wrong.  You feel like you’re going through the motions, doing what you have to in order to chug along, and the hot idea that once dominated your thoughts has lost its luster. What used to be a driving passion becomes just another chore.  You start entertaining thoughts of giving up.

So what changed?  Did you fall “out of love” with your goal?  Probably not – it’s more likely that you lost your focus.  Instead of thinking of the end result, of what will happen when you achieve it, you’re letting yourself get bogged down by the details.  And since the details are where all that hard work comes into play, you can lose sight of the attractive outcome that once motivated you.

Sometimes just realizing this is enough – it hits you that while you hate writing reports, dealing with customer emails or tweaking a website, what you love is the job you do and the result you create.  You love delivering a result to people, and that’s what drives you.  You start thinking of what you fell in love with in the first place, and all your motivation comes rushing back.  Life is good.

Except when it isn’t.

Welcome To The Jungle

Sometimes, even thinking of the end result won’t get you motivated.  At all.  Sure, your business may solve people’s problems, make them happier, or help them change the world, but it’s just not doing it for you.  You know you should be excited, but you’re not.  Instead, you’re numb inside, or you’re hating the hundreds of stupid steps you have to go through to make it all work.

And the frustration is compounded by the fact that you know you should be absolutely ecstatic about following your dream/goal/big idea.  You know that you have a million reasons to get excited, but it’s just not helping your performance problems.

And then, just when you’re feeling ground down, everything starts to go wrong.  Customers have problems.  Business partners don’t work out.  Projects that seemed on schedule get delayed.  Insult is added to injury, and you just don’t know how to get your groove back.

Remember, motivation isn’t the ability to get hyped up, passionate and excited.  It’s the ability to make yourself do the damned work when it’s not fun.  I can’t promise to give you the magic answer to your motivation problems, but I can give you a few time-tested tips that have helped me and my coaching clients through some of our roughest spots.  Not all tips will work with all people, but read the list below with the pre-supposition that you’ll find one that speaks to you (and then it will. )

• Give yourself permission to hate the work you’re doing. Popular self-help wisdom says that you should be happy and upbeat all the time, and if you can’t get excited by everything, you’re doing something wrong (and you should feel guilty for it!).  But life says that ain’t so.  Some tasks suck, but they simply need to be done, and it’s okay not to like them.  I don’t like changing my youngest kid’s diaper, but cleaning up the crap is part of the parenting package.  I don’t have to pretend to like it – I just have to do it.  So don’t pressure yourself to get happy about crap work – admit it’s crap, but do it anyway.

• Disassociate yourself from the task you have to do. This sounds goofy, but it can really work.  Step back and pretend someone else is taking on the task (preferably someone who you picture having an easy time tackling the work). Start working on it, and “watch” how they handle it as if it were a movie unfolding before you.  This is effective because it takes your mind of your personal discomfort of doing the work, and gives you something creative to enjoy.

• Decide to respect yourself in the morning. The task may suck, but if you push past your resistance and get it done anyway, you can look back at the end of the day and feel proud of yourself for not copping out with some weak excuse.   Imagine yourself putting your head on your pillow knowing you kicked a$$ when it wasn’t easy – but your bad ass did it anyway -and experience how that feeling of pride can drive you.

• Recognize that this is just a phase, and it will pass. Sometimes we lose the love because other things in life are stressing us out.  We’re emotionally tapped, and we don’t have anything to get motivated with.  Recognize that this is an event that will come and go, and that if you just shake it off, eventually you’ll get your groove back.  Tell yourself the lull is temporary, and the secret formula to getting the excitement back is to just keep plugging away.

• Remind yourself that man oh man, is it worth it. Famed boxer Muhammad Ali admitted he hated every minute of his training, but kept at it because he knew it would make him a champion one day.   No matter what crap is going on in your life, no matter how many obstacles are making the pursuit of your goal harder, there’s a reason you set the goal in the first place.  Because it’s worth it.  Tell yourself that over and over again.  “I know this task sucks, but it’s going to be worth it.”

The path to your goal isn’t all fun and games.  Sometimes it sucks.  But when that happens, instead of feeling sorry for yourself or wondering what you’re doing wrong, recognize it as a natural part of life.  Prepare for it.  Accept it.  And then work through it.  Sure, “you can taste the bright lights / but you won’t get them for free.” But if you remind yourself that the price is not only required, but worth paying, you’ll find a way to get yourself to keep taking action, even when it’s no fun at all.

And when you put your head on the pillow at night, you’ll know you took the high road.

Your thoughts?  Additional advice?  Give up the goods (After subscribing to this blog, of course …).

Your Pillow: The Ultimate Low-Tech Time Management Tool

“Get up, get up, get busy do it / Get up and move that body / Get up people now get down to it before the night is over” – Technotronic

Most people would never think of their pillow as a time managment tool – it’s more often viewed as the energy sucking device that glues you to the bed in the morning.  But forget about the morning, and let’s talk about the night, when that fluffy nighttime accessory can become your greatest ally in the fight to stay focused and rock all over that day of yours.

Take The “Pillow Test” And See How You Score …

A while back I had a coaching client who was struggling to find the motivation to stay focused and take massive action each day, so I came up with a little something called the “Pillow Test.”  It goes something like this:

When you’ve gone to sleep over the last three nights, what are the dominant thoughts that go through your head when you lay your head on your pillow?

For most of us, this Pillow Test can generate answers that make us uncomfortable.  I’ve asked this question to many of my coaching clients, and each one has a unique and interesting response for the tone of thoughts that pop up at the end of the day.  How am I going to get it all done?  I’m stressed about X/Y/Z … I’ve got so much to do … Crap, I forgot to do A/B/C … Am I ever going to get ahead/make X/Y/Z work/beat this habit …

The thoughts that run through our heads at the end of the day aren’t always the best ones, and can frequently be a source of depression among people who feel that they aren’t performing up to their potential (or up to other people’s expectations).  We all take the Pillow Test each night, consciously or not, and it determines whether we face the next day with passion … or aversion.

Studying Ahead: How To Ace The Pillow Test

Fortunately, you’re determined to rock your day, every day, so I’ll tell you exactly how to leverage the Pillow Test to your advantage.  All you have to do is ask yourself the following question, multiple times a day:

How do I want to feel when I put my head on my pillow tonight?

It’s a simple question, but it can give you a lot of leverage and focus during the day.  If you’ve been having the same disempowering thoughts at night for a while, asking this question might help you get more focus and control over your day.  The reason for this is that if you dread the prospect of facing that thought again tonight, you’re more likely to take action in a positive and useful way, because you realize that you’ll want to put your head on your pillow feeling good about yourself for a change.  You won’t want to settle for doing less than whatever it takes to get the job done.

• If you’ve been kicking yourself because you’re not taking enough action on something important to you, asking this question could help get your a$$ in gear.
• If you’re finding it hard to stay on task in a day full of urgencies and interruptions, asking this question could help you redouble your efforts to stay focused and accomplish that day’s goals no matter what.
• If you’ve been afraid to “pull the trigger” on on something you know you need to do, asking this question might make you mad enough at your “- approach avoidance” to take action and get started today.

The Goal:  Go To Sleep With A Smile

Ultimately, you want to end your days laying your head on your pillow satisfied in the knowledge that you rocked out, and rocked hard.  Asking yourself the question How do I want to feel when I put my head on my pillow tonight? may give you just the push you need to stay focused, take advantage of every opportunity you have to move forward on your goals, and to “get down to it, before the night is over.”

Did this post kick your a$$ in a great way?  Subscribe to this blog to keep the party rocking!

How To Smash Your Insecurities And Take Massive Action

“You had to be a Big Shot, did ya, had to open up your mouth …” – Billy Joel

Confidence is your #1 asset. It gives you the guts to take your message to the world and ride it to #1 on the charts. But there’s a funny thing that happens when you hold your message up to the world’s scrutiny – sometimes that world doesn’t like you. In fact, in a world of 6 billion people, there are a whole mess of people who won’t agree with what you have to say.

The Sad, Sad Story of Bob

This is what happened to Bob, a coaching client of mine who called me yesterday for a stern butt-kicking in the confidence department.  (Yes, “Bob” is not his real name, but it’s the best you get at 5:23am.)  Bob’s a business powerhouse, a strategist and mentor who has stepped into companies and made them millions of dollars before he steps out.  Bob knows his stuff.

But at a recent roundtable, Bob was mentoring a few people on better business strategies when one person raised her hand and said “Bob, that’s all wrong.  What you’re saying won’t work.”  The rest of the table looked at Bob in bewilderment, because they knew that when they applied Bob’s strategies, they worked very well.  They shrugged the naysayer’s comment off and put Bob’s strategies into action that week (and guess what, they worked just as Bob said they would).

But it wasn’t so easy for Bob to shake it off.  As he drove home that night the comment kept playing over and over in his ears.   What if she was right? It worked this time, but what if it fails next time? Suddenly, Bob felt insecurity creep in, and over the next few weeks his confidence suffered.  He didn’t push his students as hard, and he was feeling pretty low.  The “What ifs” were fueling his insecurity.

I’m sure you can relate, because we all can.  In fact, James had to give me an a$$-kicking about this just last week, so the solution was fresh in my mind.  What do you do when you’re afraid that people won’t approve of you, or they’ll say “you’re wrong,” in front of others?  Insecurity sucks, to be sure, but fortunately for us it has a weak spot.

How Bob Got His Groove Back (And So Can You)

Bob had the same insecurity problem you and I have from time to time – we’re feeling the sting that occurs when someone’s opinion makes us doubt ourselves.  This opinion can be real (like the one of Bob’s student), or it could be imagined (”What if X doesn’t agree with me?”).  Both sap your confidence and diminish your potential for a$$-kickery.

What I told Bob to do is a simple solution that has worked for me, and doesn’t cost a dime.  It’s a confidence-booster that works like crazy, and all it takes is a piece of paper, or a file on your computer.  Here’s how it works:

1. Pick an insecurity that’s bugging you.  Let’s say you’re starting a business, and you’re worried that the service you’re selling won’t be “good enough.”
2. Comb through your emails, letters, remembered phone calls and conversations and copy everything down that supports how much you rock.  Every “Thank you,” every “Great job,” every “Holy —-!” that people have passed along to you as a result of your rocking out and rocking out hard.
3. Read this over and over again, every time you feel that insecurity rise up.  Remind yourself why you rock.

It’s that simple.  Bob came to me worrying “What if I tell someone to do X, Y, and Z, and they fail?”  I countered with “Bob, tell me about the last 5 people who rocked out like superstars because of your advice.”  Bob had no problem delivering the goods.  We ended the conversation with Bob feeling powerfully confident about himself and his abilities.  And the same solution will work for you.

1. Define what you fear you’ll suck at
2. Gather evidence that says “No way, bucko – I rock!”
3. Drill that stuff into your head.  Again.  And Again.

Will Bob’s advice be a winner for 100% of the people he talks to?  Surely not.  But realizing that the wins he’s creating far outshine the losses crushed his insecurity flat.

What Groove Will You Get Back Today?

Take 2 minutes to think about what’s stressing you, what you worry about.  Then take the steps above and see what happens.  Keep that list handy, and enjoy the results. And leave a comment to tell the world why you rock!

If this post rocked your day, subscribe to this blog for more of the same!

To Those About To Rock, We Salute You!

You’ve heard the news – my old blog (Million Dollar Leverage) has moved to its new home here at Rock Your Day. You’ll get productivity tips you can actually use and swift kicks in the a$$ that will get you staying focused, working smarter, and stomping stress flat, baby.

First Things First: Make Sure You Update Your Feed

The old blog was growing fast over the last few weeks, so that means a lot of you will need to update your feed reader to the new address to ensure you get your daily fix of hard-working fun. Here’s the new RSS feed:

• http://feeds.feedburner.com/RockYourDay
• Set up your feed right away, because each feed comes with a free chapter of my 160+ page book, What’s Holding You Back?

Time To Thank All My Fellow Rockstars

This kickin’ blog design was done by none other than James and Harry from Men With Pens.  Thanks to them for all the blood, sweat and tears that went turning what I wanted into a great-looking theme.  Bonus thanks to Jonathan Fields for this post, which I sorely needed during the design process

Thanks to Nate Whitehill of Unique Blog Designs for the slick cover art for the programs in the right sidebar.

And one mega-thanks to Michael Martine for helping me troubleshoot & fix a problem with the RSS feed book bonus – now it’s all set!

There are many others I’d like to thank who helped me along the way to getting this new blog set up – and I’ll be sure to give you your props in upcoming posts.  Your help, support, and comments have been invaluable.

Now It’s Time To Get Ready To Rock!

After you update your RSS feed, please be sure to leave a comment below saying hello and possibly even suggesting ideas for things you’d like for me to cover in this blog.  I’ve got a lot of great tips for getting the most out of your day lined up but would love to hear what you’re hungry for.

So, now opening for Dave Navarro … you! (Can’t wait to hear the sound …)

Pushing Forward: What To Do When Your Schedule Blows Up

A common question I get about scheduling is “What do I do when my schedule doesn’t work out?”  The truth is, unless you have a highly regimented, highly controlled life that other people can’t toss their urgencies into, this is going to happen to you.  A lot.  It sure does for me.

Schedule explosions are a fact of life – your boss, your spouse, your kids, your inbox, your immune system (cough!), your bad karma – they all attack your well-laid plans with a passion on a daily basis.  When this happens (and it happens often), you have three choices:

1. Get depressed/drained/angry, and resign yourself to falling behind.
2. Pop open your planner of choice and rejuggle your schedule.
3. Grit your teeth and decide to steer the ship back on course, no matter the pain.

Don’t Let Yourself Fall Behind

Choice #1 sucks.  You don’t want it, not only because it hinders progress, but because it’s insane.  Don’t be bummed that life stepped in and kicked down your neatly piled stack of to-dos … acknowledge that’s how life operates.  You might as well be mad at your 2-year old for dropping crumbs on the floor.  It’s how life works – and when you accept it instead of fiercely hoping it won’t happen, you don’t get sapped and you’re better equipped to handle better options.

As M. Scott Peck wisely said: “Life is difficult. … Once we see this truth, we transcend it.” Translation:  Once you accept that schedules get smashed easily, it won’t grind you down.  You can then roll with the punches.

Rejuggling Is An Option, But …

If your schedule gets hosed, you still want to get things done – you’ll just have to move them elsewhere.  That’s one of the reasons I use an Excel spreadsheet for my planner – it makes it easy to drag and drop blocks o’ work wherever they need to be tossed to after the day has gone to hell.   Since I accept the fact that life doesn’t honor my neat planning attempts, it doesn’t bug me so much.

But there’s a hidden danger here – using rejuggling as a crutch.  If you get into the habit of saying, “Oh well, I didn’t get it done today, I’ll do it tomorrow,” it won’t be long before everything starts moving to tomorrow, again and again, and again … and you get desensitized to how much that sucks.  And your progress slows, because you tolerate the need to rejuggle more and more.

So while rejuggling is a necessity, it can make your productivity muscles flabbier by the day.  That’s why it’s a good idea to temper this strategy with controlled bursts of overtime.

Keep On Keeping On … Even When It Hurts

If life threw you a few curveballs today and you weren’t able to get a few things done, you could rejuggle … or you could push on after hours and decide that you won’t rest until you make progress.  I’m doing that right now.  I was supposed to write this blog article at lunch, but life got in the way.  I was tempted to push it off to tomorrow, but I realized if I made myself do it tonight, after hours, a few things would happen:

1. I would get the task out of the way (and make tomorrow easier).
2. I would protect tomorrow’s schedule (rather than mess it up by my own hand).
3. I would feel better about myself (because I rocked out, even though I’m tiiiired).

But there’s one more benefit to sticking around after hours to finish up the things that didn’t get done earlier:  I get mad. Mad because I let a few things derail my focus today.  Mad because I didn’t say no to a task I should have. Mad because I let a meeting run too long.  Mad at the little things I flubbed on, things I know better about, things that force me to be typing at 11:25pm when I’d rather be sleeping.

But being mad is a good thing. Because if you’re mad enough, you take action to change.

Tomorrow’s going to be a much more efficient day, because I stuck around to finish today’s tasks and because tomorrow I’ll channel my dissatisfaction into a stronger focus.

Nobody likes overtime … but it can easily build your productivity muscles if you push yourself hard.  Focus on keeping on course as closely as possible, even if you have to work personal overtime, and you’l be amazed at how you kick some of your habits in gear.

Try it today – you’ll thank yourself for it.

Cut Clutter From Your Email This Week

Simple tip for this Monday:

• You’ve got crap in your Inbox on a regular basis that you will never, ever read.  Ever.
• It’s piling up.
• It must pile up no more.

Get honest with yourself – if you’re receiving information that you’re either not reading or not acting upon, it is essentially worthless.  Actually, it’s a liability because it is cluttering your inbox and causing you stress.

• If you haven’t opened a newsletter you’re subscribed to for the last few issues, unsubscribe.
• If you don’t act on the good advice contained in a news letter, unsubscribe.
• If you receive newsletters you don’t want to unsubscribe from because you really think you’ll read it in the future, set up a rule/filter that will archive it in a “to read” folder so that it never clutters your inbox again.

Your time is too valuable to waste it managing information that shouldn’t have to be managed manually.

Get the crap out of your inbox.  If you get a lot, phase it out a little at a time.

You’ll thank yourself for it, and you won’t know what to do with all the room it frees up in your inbox.  And that’s a great place to be.

Keep on rocking (and subscribing),

Dave

Quick Check: What’s Stealing Your Focus?

We all have a tendency to search out the answer to that magical question:  “What do I have to do to get more of ______?  We like to think that there’s a miracle answer around the corner, that if we just do more of X, we’ll have more of Y.  And that’s actually true, to a point.  You do more exercise, you lose more weight.  You increase your income, you increase your cashflow.  Doing more of X is an easy way to get more of the Y that you want.

But there’s a dark side to that, the one that’s not as seductive, because it requires facing up to a few ugly truths.

You Don’t Keep Your Boat Above Water By Bailing Faster

If you have holes in your boat, what’s the solution?  It ain’t bailing faster.  It’s plugging the freakin’ holes.

“Holes” are the things that cost you, that drag you down, that slow or reverse your hopes of progress.  Plug those holes and you don’t have to do more of X to get more of Y – it’ll just happen.

• Eat less crap and you automatically turn the tide come weigh-in time.

• Stop wasting so much money and your cashflow “magically” improves.

• Etc.  Etc.  ETC.

Plug The Holes In Your Focus And Stop Taking On Distractions

You want to get more done?  I’m with you.  I’m on your side.  For the next few days, keep a piece of paper/notebook/Crackberry at the ready and just jot down what’s derailing your focus each time it happens.  Do this for a calendar week and you’ll have a map of all the holes in your boat.

Then start getting to work on plugging them, one by one.

You get more done, automatically, without working harder.

Yes, it is just that easy.  But only if you do it. Most people will chicken out, take the path of least resistance, look for something that will give them the magic answer.  Fine, you can buy my time management system – but be warned, the first chapter will tell you the same damn thing.

Get something convenient to take notes with.

Take notes for a week and track yourself.

Take action on one thing at a time.

WIN.

The Forehead-Slapppingly Easy Way To Squash Time Management Stress

A 1997 study at Duke University strengthens the link between stress and heart attacks:

“Heart patients can dramatically lower their chance of having more cardiac problems by utilizing stress reduction techniques …” Source: CNN.com

Wait a minute – 1997? That’s hardly news, is it? But still, how often is a big chunk of our stress in the here and now is caused by the “Oh, crap, I don’t have enough time to get it all done” blues? Far too much, even a decade after this not-particularly-groundbreaking study.

In light of that, I’d be remiss if I let any of my valued subscribers keel over and walk toward that big, white light for lack of a potent and simple stress-busting tip. Here’s a winner for you (and remember, I just saved your life, so you owe me. )

The Big Tip – Remind Yourself That It’s The Moment That Matters.

Sure, you have 525 things you need to be doing.  22 phone calls you have to return.  8,299 emails that are still clogging your inbox.  All those things cause you stress, because they are all (still) undone. (STILL.)

You want to drop that stress? Remind yourself that even though you have 525 things you need to be doing, you can only do one of them now.  Then just focus on doing that one thing.  Then focus on doing the next thing.  And the next.

The Take Away: Thinking of what you can’t get to now stresses you.  Focusing on what you can get to now gives you that sense of progress you’re hungry for.

But It Can’t Be That Easy, Can It?

Of course it’s that easy.

• You’re working on a project, and you stress about your business plan?  Remind yourself you’re doing something that matters and you’ll get to that other thing later – then get back to work, so you don’t make yourself a liar.
• You’re researching a topic, and you stress about how you don’t have time to study that marketing course you bought?  Remind yourself that if you focus and nail this research ASAP, you might just make some extra time for that later – then get back to work.
• You’re doing X, and you can’t stop thinking about Y?  Smack yourself, shake it off, and remind yourself that you have to go through X to get to Y, and get back to X.

Stressing over a too-full plate means that you’re spending time looking at that plate rather than chomping bite after bite after bite off of it.  More bites = smaller plates = less stress = hooray.

The antidote to stress is action.

KA-CHOMP.

Thanks for subscribing … RockYourDay is coming soon!

Peeps, the new blog is coming soon, just getting some kikcing images finished up.

Keep your eyes on the prize … it won’t be long!

Dave

Start Monday Right: Decide To Front Load Your Day

A typical Monday for most people involves slooooooooowly getting into the swing of things for the week. Most people hate Mondays, and their response to it is to spend far too much time “warming up” to their workload.

Want to bust that feeling today and feel like you’re ahead of the game? Then front load your schedule for the day and feel like a champion (and stress less!) by getting ahead of the game.

Front Loading: Your Productivity Bazooka

Front loading is simply the act of slamming out results in the early part of the schedule, rather than the latter. In other words, move your “crunch time” to the very start. By forcing yourself to think in crunch mode right off the bat, you’ll have a much easier time of avoiding distractions, staying focused, and delivering great results.

Three Easy Ways To Make Monday Rock

• One effective tactic I use is to mentally pretend that my boss has given me an urgent deadline that is well before the end of the day. If I have a full workday of stuff scheduled, I re-frame the due date to 1:30 pm, and jump on work like crazy. When you think “Someone needs this quick,” it’s generally more driving than “I’d sure like to get things done faster …”

• Another tactic is to make it a game. Set aggressive mini-milestones throughout the day and start the clock running. When you see the time ticking away, you’ll have an easier time knocking out your front loading efforts. Compete against yourself, and prove how much you truly do rock out.

• A final tactic is to focus on something you want to do with that extra time you’ll have if you crunch for the first chunk of your Monday. Maybe you can reward yourself with some relevant blog reading. Or you can take a long lunch and not feel guilty about it. Or – just as importantly – you can get ahead of the game by front loading some of Tuesday’s tasks instead.

Give It A Shot; Leave Others In The Dust

Front loading your Mondays aggressively can put you way ahead of the competition (as well as your co-workers). While other people are moaning and complaining about their Mondays, you can smile knowing you’ve done more by 12pm than they’ll do all day. And getting ahead of the game is a great way to turn Mondays into something to look forward to.

You’ve read this far – don’t forget to subscribe for more day-rocking productivity tips.

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