3 Ways To Never Lose Sight Of Why You Rock

No matter how much you rock, you will always have times when you feel like absolute crap. You will feel like things are getting out of control, that you’re falling behind, falling short and that you are losing the drive to make it work (because on some level, you are doubting your ability to do so).

We all have days (weeks?) like this, and one of my top coaching clients this morning was no exception. I say “top” client because this person kicks ass. Six figure revenues. High consulting fees. An in-demand presentation speaker. Yet, like you and like me, still only human. A few particularly aggravating set backs and a week-long case of “where the hell did my motivation go?” was taking it’s toll.

I’ve known this all too well, and I’ve had to come up with some tactics to turn the tide when this happens. Here’s a few that I recommended to my client, and that I think can do the trick for you as well.

Tactic #1: Make A List Of Why You Rock
It’s a funny part of human psychology that we quickly forget the good and obsess over the bad. We remember failures from a decade ago and lose sight of recent successes. Well, no more of that crap. From now on it’s different.

You need to grab a pen and paper (or keyboard/whatever) and make a quick list of reasons that you, dear reader, rock (and rock hard). You need to make a list of your strengths, your skills, your competitive advantages, your greatest wins, everything you have going for you.

For bonus points include great things that people have said about you (and that isn’t limited to some big writeup - you could just as easily cut and paste “Thanks, you really saved my ass,” from a recent email. The point is that you remind yourself of why you make a worthwhile impact and that you write it down.

The reason it’s so important you write it down is because when you feel like crap, you won’t be able to recall all those items. You’ll be throwing a lavish pity party and inviting all of your favorite excuses to hang out and make themselves comfortable. This list is your way to pummel yourself with reasons that you should get out of your funk and do it now.

Start this list in the next sixty seconds. I’m serious. Grab something to write with and write down one reason you rock. Or email it to yourself. Or write it on your hand for now. Just take action instead of just thinking about it.

Tactic #2: Anchor That Rocking Feeling
Ok, now that you have that list of reasons you rock (or you’ve finished writing on your “Palm” pilot), you need to set up an anchor so you can feel rocking-powerful any time you want. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s the 30 second explanation:

When you have a feeling and something specific/repeatable happens, that emotion becomes linked to the experience. If you get trash-talked every time you see a specific person, eventually the sight or the thought of them will be a downer. If someone is always building you up, eventually, you’ll feel good just thinking about them/seeing them.

Basic psychology. Pavlov’s dogs. Now let’s leverage that SOB.

Look at your list/single item and close your eyes for a moment. Think about how good it felt to accomplish that thing, or how good it feels to know you have that specific skill/quality/advantage/whatever. Create some emotion here (which, if you can’t, tells you that you need to refine your reason). Think of how good it made you feel to get that compliment, or earn that reward. Stand up straight and tall as you recall how rocking you really are/were in the moment.

Now, while you’re immersed in that feeling, do something unique. Bang your fists together. Do a judo chop. Yes, that sounds silly but it helps to do something “powerful”-oriented. Personally, I make a fist and do a quick double-tap in the center of my chest. You can do anything you want, just be consistent and make it something unique, that you wouldn’t otherwise do.

If you actually do this, if you get into the habit of reminding yourself why you rock and then doing an anchoring step, then here’s what’s going to happen. The next time you feel like crap, you’re going to do whatever move you came up with, and you are going to feel a sudden flow of “I rock!”-ness that will help to lift you out of your funk.

It may take a while to build up a really strong anchor, but once you do, it’s golden. Make it a point to spend at least 60 seconds every day reinforcing that anchor by remembering why you rock, doing that move, and really staying immersed in that experience.

Tactic #3 - Have a Rocking Soundtrack
One place where you make anchors all the time is with music. You have certain music that you’ve already anchor-linked to emotions. Music that relaxes you. Music that makes you sad. Music that makes you want to go out and kick the world’s ass. That last kind is what you’re after.

Invest a minute and think of songs that help get you juiced up and ready to rock and have them at the ready to help kick you back into gear. My personal favorites: Track 3 and 10 on the Gladiator soundtrack. And Billy Joel’s “You’re Only Human (Second Wind)” is a great one to snap you out of that felling-sorry-for-yourself crap that drains you.

So try all three things out, leave some comment love below and let’s see where it gets you. If you haven’t started with Tactic #1, do it right now. Invest 60 seconds and increase your Rocking Quotient (RQ). Do it now. You’ll thank yourself for it.

How Not Focusing On Your Goals Can Help You Achieve Them

While checking out my new favorite blog Trizle I saw a great post on why people tend to have such a hard time achieving their goals. In the article you’ll find the same time-tested advice of “break your goals into small, manageable chunks” that you can never hear too often. But what stands out about this article isn’t so much that it talks about looking at small sub-goals, but that it urges you to focus on what you can accomplish “by tomorrow.”

As a coach, I see people miss this point far too often, and I have to correct it in them (and admittedly, sometimes, in myself). Goals can be intimidating to people - not because people are weak or incompetent, but because there’s a level of overwhelm that comes to an achiever when the “big picture” gets too much (or all) of the focus. And achievers like us … we have some pretty big big pictures.

But Small Goals Rock, Too
It’s great to have big goals, but if you aren’t executing on them on a daily basis, you’re hosed. It’s the little sub-goals that get you where you’re going, so you have to stay “in the moment” and focus on knocking them out. Not focusing on gaining the small wins, now, will kill your momentum. In other words, quit daydreaming/obsessing about winning the race and focus on putting one foot in front of the other, now.

Earning a million dollars or losing 50 pounds? Great goals. But it can be a challenge to stay motivated when you’re still working on that first $1000 or first ten pounds. The finish line seems so far away. And that can drain your motivation. While so many people tell you that you should focus on your goals, I’d have to tell you from experience that putting your focus on the finish line isn’t going to get you there.

Focus vs. Presence
If you keep your focus only on your goals, you’ll live in wishful thinking land. (”I’m gonna be rich! I’m gonna lose 50 pounds!”) When it comes time to get into action though, you’re going to be more likely to wish you were at the finish line and you’ll hear that whooshing sound as your motivation slips away. I’ve seen it too many times to count. Being too focused on your goal can put you in the dangerous position of resenting the (serious) work you have to do to get there.

On the other hand, if your focus is on your actions - your sub-goals - you’re going to be on the right track. But when you focus on your tasks, you want to keep your goal present (meaning you remind yourself of it) to put your non-exciting task in perspective. In other words, you don’t say, “I’m going to lose 50 pounds!” you say, “I’m going to get through lunch and dinner without snacking because that’s going to help me lose 50 pounds.” This way, you infuse even a “painful” task like sticking to your meal plan with purpose. And purpose is a seed for motivation.

The Process vs. The Prize
So now you know to keep your focus on your tasks (because those tasks are what you have to make sure you do) and to simply keep your goals present as a way to make sure those tasks have a motivating meeting. But what do you do when you are focusing on your task … and you aren’t taking action?

When my clients struggle with generating the motivation to take action, it’s generally because they are focusing ONLY on the process (painful task) and not the prize (awesome goal). Their breakthroughs come when they are redirected to focus on going through the process as a means of grabbing the goal. (Again, keeping the goal present but not in focus.)

In other words, it’s a hell of a lot easier to do something you don’t want to do when you are firmly convinced that it matters.

So Get To It
Take a minute now and think of a goal you’re stalling on - one that you think about a lot but that you aren’t taking action on. What’s the next action you need to take on that goal? Read back through this post and from that article on Trizle and get your focus off you what you wish you had and back onto what you will do next. Do it now - you’ll thank yourself for it.

- Dave Navarro