How To Defuse Stress (Part 1)

I read a newspaper article today titled “Only half of worried Americans try to manage their stress.” The first paragraph read:

“When it comes to dealing with stress, a number of Americans turn to unhealthy behaviors such as overeating and smoking for relief and don’t exercise … What’s surprising and alarming is the fact that too many people weren’t taking active steps to do anything about the stress they’re feeling.”

I have a feeling that whether you’re American or not, it’s pretty likely that you can relate to this to some degree. I think we all can. And stress robs you of a lot of important things in life – your peace of mind, your time (by hurting your productivity), and your health. And for some reason, facing the stress head-on and working to negate it generally isn’t on most people’s to-do lists.

But you can’t live that way. If stress is impacting your life, you need to attack it head-on and destroy its power to drag you down. I’m going to give you three quick ways you can do that right now, based on a theory by Martin Seligman, president of the American Psychological Association:

#1 – Stop seeing your stress as something “personal.”

This is a biggie. We tend to take the things that are stressing us in life far too personally. We internalize problems and link them to our (often skewed) idea of what we’re capable of. An example could be someone who’s depressed thinking “Why am I so weak when it comes to (dieting, follow-through, etc.)?”, or “I’m not (smart/strong/popular) enough …”, or “Why do I always do this?”

As you can see, thinking thoughts like this automatically starts you off in a position of weakness. It’s no wonder it contributes to stress and depression. You begin to think that because your behaviors are causing you to fail at certain things in life, that it means *you* are the failure. Not true. Not true at all.

The way to push past that is to immediately stand up for yourself and say “Wait a minute. I am not going to label myself like this. Sure, I may be screwing up in this area now, but that doesn’t make me a loser. And it doesn’t prevent me from doing something, taking just one step right now in the right direction. I am more than just a set of behaviors.”

Or, for short, “The problem is not me, it’s my behavior.” You see, that gives you something to work with. You can change your behavior, that’s pretty emotion-neutral, and a lot more likely to succeed than “changing yourself.”

So the first way to shed that stress is to stop taking your challenges personally. Decide that you are not a victim of your behaviors, and you can change what you firmly decide to change.

#2 – Stop seeing the causes of stress as “pervasive.”

Often we have a stress that “leaks” over into every area of life. We’re stressed about our finances, so that makes us edgy in our relationships. We’re stressed about our jobs, so that makes us tense even when we’re not at work. We have a fight with the person we care about, and then we’re carrying that with us wherever we go that day.

In other words, we have a stressful event in one area of our life and we don’t “switch off” when we’re acting in other spheres in our life. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that it’s not a very simple task to unplug from a painful, stressful thing that’s going on in your life, but there is something very powerful that you can do:

You can tell yourself, consciously, that it’s not worth worrying about problem X when you’re busy doing Y. You can tell yourself, “Ok, I’m stressed because of my finances, but I’m not going to settle for letting that ruin this night at home with the people who I care about. I may be struggling with one area of my life, but it doesn’t have to drag everything else down with it.”

This is important, because we don’t always take conscious control of where our thoughts are leading us. We have to be able to remind ourselves that there are so many factors in our lives that make it worth living, and a nosedive in one area is just that – a nosedive in *one* area.

Again, easier said than done. But don’t use that as an excuse not to do it.

So the second way to shed stress is to take a step back and realize that despite the problem you’re facing in one area of life, there are plenty of other areas that are still okay. Then you can lean on those to lift your spirits.

#3 – Stop seeing the causes of stress as “permanent.”

Remember, just because something is a problem now, doesn’t mean that it is going to stay a problem forever. Very, very few problems are permanent. Remind yourself of that. Just because something seems painful, or even end-of-the-world right now, you *will* move on eventually.

Now, also keep in mind that there are a lot of things that you can do, depending on your particular stress, to speed up when that “eventually” gets here. Remember, there is very little in life that you cannot overcome, that you can’t make progress on, even if it’s slow and steady.

Don’t leave yourself in a position of weakness by convincing yourself that your stresses and problems are never going to get better. That’s crazy talk. You may not be able to fix everything overnight, but you sure as heck can do something right now to start turning the tide.

I guess you could sum up all three of these points by saying that to defuse stress, you have to rid yourself of the “victim mentality” that says that the events and circumstances of your life are what shape your feelings.

Instead, you need to decide in a very real way that you will no longer settle for putting yourself in anything less than a position of strength, rather than a position of weakness. You have to decide that you are going to overcome your initial feelings and do the work to push past them. And the more you do that, the more you demonstrate to yourself that you really are capable of that, the more you will realize that almost none of your problems are personal, pervasive and permanent … and that will do an enormous amount to reduce your overall stress level.

So the next time you feel stressed, apply one of these three techniques to defuse it (especially if you don’t feel like doing it!). You’ll thank yourself for it.

All the best -

Dave Navarro

Get Off Your Butt With Microactions

Millions of people fail to ever make progress on goals that are important to them because they’re waiting for circumstances to make it easier on them. They’re waiting until they get a raise before they start investing. They’re waiting until they can schedule regular time at the gym before starting an exercise program. They’re waiting for something, someday to happen to somehow make it more convenient to tackle their goals. And boy, do they wait.

You see, circumstances aren’t necessarily ever going to get easier, and by the time things line up for you, your opportunity may be lost. Just think about it … how many goals have you been saying “soon, when I have the time …” for years now? You can’t let this happen to you anymore.

So what do you do when you don’t have the circumstances you need to make your goals happen? When you know you need to invest, but you’ recurrently scraping by? When you know you need to start working out, but you seem to have zero time? What you need to do is harness the power of what I call microactions.

A microaction is a tiny action that supports your goal, even if it doesn’t move you towards it. If your goal is to get in shape, a microaction could be a decision to do five pushups a day in the morning before you leave the house.

Will five pushups a day get you in shape? Absolutely not. But what it will do is put a stake in the ground, at least mentally, to say “I may not have a lot of time to spend on this goal, but I haven’t forgotten about it. I’m doing something.”

And though five pushups a day may seem insignificant, don’t underestimate it’s value. What a microaction like that does is signal your brain that you’re committed to taking action, even when you don’t have the resources you think you need.

And that gets your brain tuned to the idea of making the best use out of the resources you already have –and gets you results faster than you’d expect. You’re going to find you have a lot more resources than you think.

Think about it. Let’s say you’ve never saved any money in your life, and the thought of saving ten dollars a month doesn’t seem very motivating to you. But let’s say that ten years ago, you decided to take the microaction of saving ten dollars a month. At this moment, you’d have over $5,000 to invest with.

If you had that kind of money right now, wouldn’t that drastically change your levels of motivation? You wouldn’t think twice about continuing to put that $10 away. Well, why not put yourself in that place right now?

Decide that you’re not going to settle for being stagnant on any of your goals. Decide that you’re going to take a microaction daily or weekly for every one of your goals. Maybe you’ll commit one hour a week to write that book. Maybe you’ll put away $10 a month (or even $1! It really matters!).

Maybe you’ll do five pushups each day. And if you do, don’t be surprised if somehow you find that that hour grows into a few hours, or that $10 a month grows into $30, or that those 5 pushups grows into 25.

Microactions have a way of taking on a life of their own, of becoming seeds that grow far beyond your expectations, a little bit at a time. And one day, you reach that critical mass and you’re in control of your circumstances, instead of circumstances controlling you. And that’s where you want to be.

All the best -

Dave Navarro

Be Vigilant About Correcting Mistakes

Mediocrity is the habit of shrugging your shoulders at your mistakes. If you want to spin your wheels, by all means, don’t focus on fixing the problems in your time management skills. Just “keep trying to do your best.”

But hell, if you’re reading this, that ain’t you anyway. But it’s a real easy point to miss. Life is busy, and optimization is something that usually takes the backseat. But you can’t let that happen if you want to free up massive amounts of time and get better at everything you do in your life and your business.

So consider this – at the end of the day, take 15 minutes to look back at how you spent your day. Consider the mistakes you made that cost you time, cost you focus, cost you results. If you’re human, you’ll likely have more than one. Write ‘em all down.

Then pick one – just one – and decide for yourself that you are not going to let that mistake happen again. Really commit to making a quick & easy plan to eliminate whatever it is that mistake is … or at least to put a hell of a dent in it. It may take you a while, but if you commit to focusing on fixing that one issue and hammer at it every day, you’ll knock it out for life. And that’s a huge payoff.

And that list? Once you’ve overcome that issue, grab another one. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Remember, if you don’t review, you can’t record & measure your issues. And what you don’t measure you can’t manage. So make it a daily practice to scrub out your mistakes, rather than settling for repeating them. You’ll thank yourself for it.

All the best -

Dave Navarro

3 Time Management Lies That Hold You Back

Everybody wants more time. I just checked Amazon.com and saw that a search for “time management” pulls up almost 8,000 products. There are so many time management theories out there that claim to be “the one.”

The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution … everyone thinks differently, works differently, and has different needs. In the final analysis, you’ll likely get the best results from borrowing techniques from multiple sources and creating a solution that custom fits your lifestyle.

But there are three common misconceptions that people have when it comes to time management that can totally ruin your chances of doing it effectively, so I want you to be aware of them in case you need to take action to avoid falling into the same trap. Here goes:

#1 – You need to create a massive, perfect system right now.

Now, this sounds like a good idea – start from scratch and create a completely organized, perfect system that takes care of all of your problems. Unfortunately, that rarely works in the real world. Effective time management requires building a number of skills and disciplines, and to try it all at once is generally an invitation to failure.

Don’t try to change everything at once. Just make a small change today. Decide you’re going to get better at capturing tasks so they don’t get lost in the shuffle. Decide you’re going to set aside 15 minutes a day to return phone calls so they don’t stack up. Do something simple, get the hang of it, and then add something else to the mix. That’s much more reasonable and much more likely to stick long term.

#2 – If you can’t make someone’s system work, you’ve failed.

Few things are more depressing than purchasing a program, then failing to be able to put it into practice. It’s hard to handle. But you can’t let it get you down. In reality, only a fraction of any time management program will mesh 100% with your needs and your lifestyle.

So rather than beat yourself up about not being able to put it into practice perfectly, go in with the mindset that you’re going to pull out what works for you and forget about the rest. Remember – as long as you can pull *something* out of a program that can help you with time management, you’ll be reaping the rewards for decades.

#3 – The time management system will fix everything.

Oh, if only it were true. Remember, a time management system’s function is to lay out a process of how to use your time more effectively, but the limiting factor is still your willingness to put it into practice. No matter what system you try out, you have to focus on developing your own personal discipline to follow through. So as you go through a system, note where you’re having follow through programs and make fixing that your top priority.

Take each of these points to heart and you’ll walk into your personal time management journey from a position of strength.

So go take that action you know you need to for today. Find just one way you can be a better manager of your time, just for today. Do it now. You’ll thank yourself for it.

All the best -

Dave Navarro

How To Get More Productivity Out Of Your Morning

There’s no point in waking up early if you’re not going to squeeze a hell of a lot of productivity out of it. If you’re not going to focus & get things done, then go back to sleep. (Actually, I’m kidding. Don’t do that. Read the rest of this instead).

A powerful strategy to get maximum results from your morning is really pretty simple … plan it in detail. Otherwise you end up with “Plan B”:

Plan B: Wake up & get some stuff done.

As you can see, Plan B pretty much sucks. So let’s look at a sample Plan A:

5:30-6:00 – Get up, shower fast, eat breakfast while reviewing goals for day
6:00-6:15 – Study AdWords optimization techniques
6:15-7:00 – Put what I’ve just learned into practice
7:15-7:45 – Write today’s blog entry
7:45 – Get ready and head out to work.

Not rocket science. But still, almost nobody does this. They make a to-do list, maybe, but they don’t attach specific times to them. They don’t set time limits that will put the pressure on them to focus, not get distracted, and above all, produce something.

Repeat after me: I must produce something every day.

If you don’t, then you’re spinning your wheels and wasting your time. You’re hurting your ability to focus.

If this sounds annoying, if it seems a little anal to hammer down the exact times you’re going to produce the exact things, then by all means, don’t try this. But then honestly ask yourself if you’re accomplishing as much as you want to.

If you do want to accomplish more, you’ve got to put the pressure on yourself and you’ve got to set yourself up to win when it comes to focus.

So give this a try (and by ‘try’, I mean make it part of your routine forever). You’ll thank yourself for it.

All the best -

Dave Navarro

What Wendy’s Can Teach You About Time Management

I’ve been seeing the new Wendy’s commercial for their 99 cent value menu – you may have seen it too. If not, the idea is that “you’ll never think of a dollar the same way again.” Everybody starts talking in terms of what they can buy with their money – “I only make about 6 junior double bacon cheeseburgers an hour”, “these shoes cost 85 Frosties,” or “you look like a million crispy chicken nuggets.” It’s a different world when you value your money that way.

That said, I stand by the belief that people “don’t have time” because they don’t properly value their time in the same way. Now, I’m not saying that you should ask for a 3,000 Frosty a year raise or try to save 100 Biggie Fries on your car insurance … but you need to think about how you value your time. That’s the only way you’re going to get yourself to use it in the way that will best serve you.

I’ll give you an example. I *had* a 40 minute commute to work. Now I have a two phone call commute to work. You see, it hit me one day that I don’t keep in touch with friends and family like I should, yet I have this time in the car. I wasn’t valuing that time. Now I am, and I’m getting a lot more out of it.

You can have a lunch hour … or a lunch & blog entry hour. You can get up an hour early in the morning … or get up one-page-of-your-ebook in the morning.

Stop thinking about time in terms of minutes and hours, and start thinking about it in terms of what valuable thing you can accomplish with the time.

If you don’t, you’ll waste a lot of it, while not getting the things you care about done.

How are you valuing your time?

All the best -

Dave Navarro